land of make believe

What Girls Do On The Internet

2011-11-30T20:29:00.000-08:00

Maybe NSFW (not safe for work). But this is a completely realistic view of what happens when I get on the internet. My husband, Brad, is always amazed at how many tabs I have open at one time. I am always on facebook, while on the bank website, while balancing our budget, oh and what about that new song I wanted to check out? I barely make time to clean my house, let alone update this blog.

Just wanted to check in, let everyone know how things are. I am now manager (!) at my salon after only six months there. It is pretty awesome. My daughter, Kennedy, is now 20 months old and getting more beautiful every day. We are just starting out trying to have another one so send some baby thoughts our way. I just signed up for this free 30 day challenge for Naturally Balancing my Hormones. If anything it will make me more aware of what I am eating because while at work, I don't eat so good. So hopefully this will give me some good tips for that.

I am also in the process of re-organizing my entire house and craft supplies, so hopefully going through all the unused supplies I have will inspire me to CREATE!

30 Before 30

2011-08-03T22:55:00.000-07:00

I am 28 right now. Instead of 29 before 29, I am doing 30 before 30, so that gives me a year and a half to accomplish these goals

30 before 30

1. Get another tattoo
2. Go on a family bike ride (seems like a small thing, but we need another bike and a trailer in order for it to happen!)
3. Maintain a exercise routine
4. Get pregnant again!
5. Do a craft a month AT LEAST!
6. Pay off credit cards
7. Save $1000 emergency fund
8. ~~Finish cosmetology school~~
9. Get a great job that I love
10. Cut down on sugar intake
11. Make enough things to actually sell at a craft fair.
12. Stop drinking regular soda
13. Take Kennedy on a nature adventure once a week (park, zoo…)
14. Stick to a budget, be realistic.
15. Make house cleaning schedule, stick to it.
16. Go on a vacation (or staycation).
17. Go north (Prescott/Flagstaff) one weekend (or once a month) this summer when it is really hot! 18. Have a date night at least once a month.
19. Lose at least four dress sizes.
20. Blog more, at least once a week.
21. Try a class at the gym
22. Go to a concert
23. Go to a play/musical
24. Go to a sporting event
25. Potty train Kennedy
26. List something on Etsy
27. Spray paint outdoor tables.
28. Grow something edible and keep it alive
29. Make and keep a new friend.
30. Finish my two year degree (I only need one class!).

The hard thing is, is that for most of these, I need money to accomplish them. Which is hard since we do not have a lot of income since Brad is still in school full time and I am just starting my career. But I will work hard to try to accomplish these goals!

Long awaited return

2011-08-03T22:34:00.000-07:00

Hello there. Why yes it has been four months since my last post. Kennedy is 16 months old now and a full fledged toddler. She always has scratches and bruises because she is such an active explorer. She loves to dance and starts swaying and stomping her feet to any music that she hears.
She also has some sort of fauxhawk/mullet combo going on with her hair, I love it.

In April I FINALLY graduated cosmetology school and a month later I had my license and a month after that I got a job at Supercuts. I have been there now for two months. It is a great first job, it has really gotten my confidence level up with doing haircuts because on some days I do 12 haircuts in one day! I still need to work on getting through a haircut faster because I am such a perfectionist and I always check and recheck my blending. I would really like to find a job assisting or as a junior stylist somewhere, but I do not want to rent a station since I don't really have a clientele yet.

I am also trying to lose weight right now. I have lost ten pounds so far, within the last few weeks, so wish me luck on continued success.

I hope to post on here more, but we'll see! I am way better at reading blogs that writing on one it seems.

Kennedy's 1st Birthday

2011-03-28T12:27:00.001-07:00

Wow, I can't believe Kennedy is one year old today! She is an amazingly sweet and smart little girl. Here are some pictures of her party yesterday.

I made a mix CD for everyone to take home from the party. Here is a playlist of most of the songs on the CD.

Closer

2011-03-18T01:07:00.000-07:00

I am excited to go to this! I am so in need of more friends it is not even funny. It is so hard to make and KEEP friends as an adult. Sure you meet people you like, even feel a connection with but then what. It seems so akward to call someone you don't really know and ask to do something. It is like dating, and I have never been a good dater, with guys I was more like, "Oh hi, we just met and made out so now we are together! And now we will spend every moment together until we fizzle out and break up, ok thanks bye."

Even at school, I am about to graduate and I am just now making some closer friends who I hope to actually keep in touch with afterwards. You would think with so many girls I could find someone who I have a lot in common with, but no. I guess I am way weirder than I thought, but I read so many blogs of like minded people I know my interests are not way out there but I just need to find my niche.

A lot of people need time and planning to do something, I only have one friend (Hi Laura!) who if I call and say, "Hey, wanna hang out?" there is a more than 50% chance she will be able to. And usually it is the same when she calls me. Even since having Kennedy, I can still meet for impromptu meetups. Sure, I need a little extra time but I can still be out of my house in like half an hour.

Sorry, rant over.

I am graduating school in about two weeks or so. Finally! I can't believe I have made it. Now I need to decide where to work. I am leaning towards assisting at a mid-high level salon. Yes I could go straight to working at like AZ Hair Co. or Great Clips but I feel like I still have so much to learn and I was taught to work where the clients you want go and I feel I want to work somewhere in like downtown phoenix or something where artsy people go. Not sure. I am definitely excited to start working again and make some money!

Wow

2011-02-26T01:56:00.001-08:00

Guess what I signed up for!?

I am very excited. I will be done with cosmetology school in about six weeks (finally!) and yes I want to pursue that as a career, but within the last few years I have really wanted to find a way to make money using my crafting, or at least learn to be a better blogger, which would also allow me to work from home. I think this will help me do that.

Sigur Rós - Staralfur

2011-02-15T01:12:00.000-08:00

Another video for you. Not only was this song featured heavily in The Life Aquatic, which is what Brad and I watched on our first date, New Years Day 2005, but this is the song that I walked down the aisle to. Love it.

I just wanted to say Happy Valentine's Day to my fantastic husband Brad. I am so lucky to have him, he is my best friend ever, and I love being with him. We have always said we would both love to work from home so we could spend even more time together, somehow we just never get sick of each other! He is the best father I could ever ask for for Kennedy and I can't wait to someday add to our family (someday, not anytime soon). He is working so hard at school, and I can't wait to see that pay off someday with an awesome job that he loves (or at least doesn't hate, lol).

Brad, you and Kennedy are my sunshine. I love you!

The Drums - "Let's Go Surfing" - SXSW 2010 Showcasing Artist

2011-02-15T00:27:00.000-08:00

This is my new favorite song of the moment. Enjoy!

Happy New Year

2011-01-05T23:31:00.001-08:00

It has been six months since I posted last?!!!!?? That is just crazy. Well since I went back to school in July I just don't go on the internet as much, especially because now I get all my facebook updates, gmail, and blog reader on my phone I don't have much reason to get on the internet.

Quick update:

I will be graduating school (finally!) in March. I'm not quite sure what path I want to go in, but I think I will get a job at like a Great Clips because we need insurance.
Brad is in school full time for digital illustration. He still has three years to go. He will be awesome at it.
We moved out of my Mom's house in October and love living on our own again, although my sister is going to be moving in with us in a month. The extra money we will be getting from her outweighs any cons, also it means we can get cable!
Kennedy is nine months old!!!!!!

My 28th birthday is coming up on the 28th of this month! I am working on a list of 28 things to do before I turn 29 and will post it when completed. I don't really have any resolutions, but I did get a gym membership and a zoo membership for Christmas. I have been to the gym 4 times in the last week and a half so hopefully I can keep that up. Also I just got the book Eat Fat, Lose Fat and if it works at all, I will let you know and write all about it. My goal with working out is not to lose weight, although I'm positive I will, I want to increase my endurance, build my core muscles, and my strength.

Kennedy.....

On January 1st she took her first steps all by herself and I think within a few weeks she will be full on walking. She has six teeth, top middle four and bottom middle two. She says "Ca" for cat and says "Dada" all the time but we still don't know if she is actually saying it to mean Brad or just saying, "Dadadadada" She is amazing and sometimes I get so overwhelmed with love for her, I just want to eat her up. Now she leans into us for kisses and laughs anytime anyone else laughs. We are still cloth diapering at home and disposable on the go, we basically co-sleep full time now. For a long while she would fall asleep in our bed and then we would move her to the pack'n'play just a few feet away, but now if we do that she will wake up in a couple hours crying, so we just leave her in bed with us. I really like it, I think Brad likes it too, but I know he sometimes has trouble sleeping. What we really need is a king sized bed! At her nine month appointment last week she weighed 18 lbs and is 28 inches tall. She has only gained 1lb and 1 inch in the last three months. The doctor isn't concerned but wants us to feed her more, especially protein. She loves to eat most anything. We are getting free baby food from WIC, so she eats that, but we always add something homemade too; egg yolks, toast, yogurt, cheese. We just bought her a sippy cup and she really likes it.

2010 was a great year and I can't wait to see what 2011 brings.

I hope to update here more often.......

A picture of something I have peed on!

2010-07-17T10:00:00.000-07:00

A year ago today I found out I was pregnant. I can't believe it has been a year. I wanted to tell Brad in some cool way, but I can't keep secrets at all, so I called him at work and told him. No fanfare or anything. I remember I could tell he was smiling over the phone and when he got home he was so in awe, we both were. I struggled with infertility and sometimes thought I would never get pregnant, now I can't wait to get pregnant again! Okay, I think we will wait a little while :)

So so happy

2010-07-14T00:52:00.001-07:00

I have been yearning for a sewing machine lately and luckily my step-mom had one in the garage and let me have it!!!!! I finally finished some cloth napkins I started about four years ago. And I made my first purse from this tutorial.

It is pretty small, but I couldn't get the pattern to print at 200%. I will definitely make this again. I already want to start hand making all my Christmas presents!!!! You can look forward to many more crafts from me.

Here is a gratuitous Kennedy photo, I think this girl is going to have some red hair:

Bountiful Baskets

2010-07-03T09:40:00.000-07:00

I have done a CSA before. I definitely liked it, but you have to pay upfront for like 12 weeks and it is expensive. Bountiful baskets is something we have here in Arizona (and some other south west states), where you order and pick up a basket of fruit and veggies. You can do it every week, or every other, or once and never do it again; what ever you choose. I did it for the very first time last week and it was amazing! Loved it. It is only $15 and I got so much stuff. This week I payed $25 for the organic basket, plus $7.50 for an italian pack. I just picked it up this morning and am excited to eat everything.

Here is a picture of the Italian pack, I thought it would just be herbs and such but it is that plus more! You can also order bread, and sometimes there are bulk orders of fruit or even cookies.

They try to get local whenever possible, but I think to them, that means California. That is one thing better about a CSA is that you are supporting a local, independent farm.

Recipes I am hopefully going to make this week are:

Rosemary Bread

Rosemary Chicken

Grilled Eggplant

Roasted Zucchini with thyme

Parsley Pesto

Green beans w/almonds and thyme

Spaghetti

Some sort of apple dessert

Some sort of nectarine dessert

Does anyone else have suggestions on how to use thyme, rosemary, and parsley?

Givaway on The Green Bird

2010-07-01T19:59:00.000-07:00

I recently started reading The Crunchy Baby and now she has an etsy shop too, The Green Bird. There is a givaway going on over on that site. You could win a free lovey or a bib. Check it out

Pictures!

2010-06-30T22:48:00.000-07:00

These are not very recent. They were probably taken around six weeks. I think she already looks different than this. I realized I have not posted a ton of pictures of her on here and I want to post more. I need to take more actually. I mostly take the same photo of her leaning back in the boppy pillow on the couch, because that is when I remember and the camera is always right there.

Photos were taken by a friend, photographer extraordinaire, Kelly Lawson

Three Months

2010-06-27T15:26:00.000-07:00

Today Kennedy is 13 weeks old and tomorrow she will be three months old. The time has gone by so fast. Next week I go back to school at night. I will still be with her during the day but her daddy will now put her to bed every night, I will miss that!

We were having issues with breastfeeding this last week, I was scared that I would have to give it up. She just wasn't taking my breast. We are combination feeding and I think that she just likes that the bottle flows easier, without much effort on her part. I would offer the breast, she would start crying, so I would just give up and offer a bottle. But after looking into it I decided to not offer a bottle and just wait until she got even hungrier. It only took like five minutes of her crying and then she took my breast, just like that! Such a relief. We still struggle with it some, but I am determined to keep breastfeeding.

Kennedy is super strong. She loves to stand on my legs and prefers sitting up to lying down, assisted of course, if I let go she falls right over. We just got her a Baby Einstein Jumper which she is still a little small for so I add blankets to cushion it with and a book underneath for her feet to reach. She likes it ok, but I just know she will love it soon because she always wants to be upright.

I love the expressions that Kennedy makes, not only her smiles which melt me, but sometimes I see epressions of confusion and awe and they are just as cute. Her eyes hold such intelligence, like she understands already what is going on all around her.

I have heard many times that we are very lucky because Kennedy is a very easy baby. I can say that motherhood is pretty close to what I expected, even better because she is such a great sleeper.

They didn't have it all together

2010-06-27T10:01:00.000-07:00

My sister was born when I was two and a half, when she about three weeks old, I broke my arm. I was sleeping with my parents in their waterbed and ended up falling off the bed and hitting my arm on the frame on the way down. My mom consoled me, made sure I could bend my elbow and wrist; I stopped crying and went back to sleep. In the morning my dad was about to go to work, my mom was caring for my sister and another baby she watched, when I walked out and said, "My arm still hurts." When my mom looked over, she could see my arm bone making my skin protrude. My dad said, "Okay, well I'm off to work!" and just left my mom to deal with it. She says he got a godsmack later that day when his pen exploded on his shirt.

I love this story.

I was talking to my mom last night and we were talking about other things that were going on at that time. My dad had been in a car accident when he was delivering papers for extra money and they were having trouble with the other guy's insurance company. My grandma, and both grandpas called the insurance company and gave them a piece of their minds. My parents ended up getting like $8,000 but had to use it to pay the hospital because when my sister was born they didn't have insurance. Also when my sister was born we were living in a house in Texas and my mom told me last night that my dad's mom helped them buy the house and paid half their house payment.

I think those times must have been really hard for them, but it makes me feel much better about where Brad and I are. I always thought of my parents as having it all together, but knowing that they were struggling financially when they first had us gives me hope about our situation now. Also knowing that their parents were still helping them fight their battles helps my pride. My car got towed about a month ago and my Mom went with me to fight the guy about it. I know now how my mom became the warrior she is today, for us. I see can see myself becoming more like that for Kennedy.

My parents are also the reason I will never be scared to change careers, they both went back to school in their fourties for their masters and my dad is even working on his doctorate right now. My dad completely changed his career (back) over ten years ago from accounting to ministry.

That is what makes me sad for many, many men out there. I think they feel that when they get married they must stop having fun and provide for their family even if it makes them completely unhappy. Yeah, some days I wish Brad made a lot of money, but I would rather he find what makes him completely fulfilled and happy and do that, and hopefully he makes money doing it too. I would rather be happy and poor than well off and unhappy. I always am aghast at the couple who adopts the baby in the movie Juno, but I think it is like that a lot, the wife pressures the husband to give up on his dreams because he is a "grown up" now. I would never ask Brad to stop playing music, or to move all of his "stuff" into one room because those things make him happy and he has just as much right to have his Godzilla toys on display as I have to keep my Twilight books out (we are dorks).

Summer

2010-06-11T23:38:00.000-07:00

It is so hot here!!! It was 110 degrees the other day. I can't imagine what it will be like next summer when Kennedy is actually mobile and wanting to play outside and such. It is hard even now taking her places because she gets really hot and sweaty in her car seat and gets fussy.

Two things that I am really loving this summer and every summer:

1. Our pool. We have a diving pool in our backyard. I only started swimming in it a couple of weeks ago. It is like ten feet deep so it takes a long time for the water to get warm enough to tolerate. Swimming is my main form of exercise, okay, my only form. I am trying to do laps every couple of days.

2. My ice cream maker. This was in storage, but I made Brad get it out for me. I don't want to be making ice cream all the time, but I am making slushies. I just pour juice in it and turn it on and in like ten minutes I have a slushie, yummy! Mine is the fancy kind that doesn't need ice and salt, you just freeze the container. Right now I am doing an expiriment and making frozen hot chocolate.

Kennedy, she is awesome. She smiles all the time. She just had her two month appointment and weighs over 11 pounds now and is 21 1/2 inches. She got her first vaccinations, sob. It was so sad the face she made when the shots went in. Brad and I discussed vaccinations a lot. I read the Vaccine Book and was on the fence about them. I thought I wanted to do delayed selective, getting some of them, waiting to do some of them later. But we are just doing the regular schedule. Kennedy is a very healthy baby, we have no reason to think that the vaccines will effect her in any harmful way. I could change my mind later and when we have a second child I could feel differently then, who knows; but this is the right choice for us now.

I feel like I might be jinxing things by saying this, but Kennedy is a great sleeper. At least at night. Sometimes she doesn't take long naps during the day, which is frustrating for me; I get nothing done. But at night she sleeps at least 8 hours in a row then wakes up for diaper and some boob and then we sleep another couple of hours. I am very thankful, maybe deep down she knows that mama looooovvves to sleep!

Cloth diapers are going good. They are super easy, especially the urine only ones. Everyone should do them! We still use disposables too, probably two or three a day. My local Target just started carrying the Seventh Generation Chlorine Free diapers and I am happy! They are the same price and the others so why wouldn't you use them? For one second I fell for the, "Oh, these are plain brown and kinda ugly." but then I remember these are recepticles for my child shit and felt pretty stupid. Do I really need Pooh or Blue on my diaper's? NO!

Breastfeeding is going good too. We are still doing half from the boob, half formula. Pumping doesn't work for me really, I can't seem to let down. The one thing I am concerned about is going overnight without her eating or pumping, will that effect my supply? She breastfeeds about 5 or 6 times during the day, but none at all at night.

Here is a pic from today of Kennedy and my mom.

hurry before she wakes up....

2010-05-18T12:48:00.000-07:00

Here is the latest picture of Kennedy, taken about an hour ago. Right before she got really mad at me for taking too long to feed her. Motherhood is pretty awesome. It is definitely easier because she is starting to give back. It is pretty frustrating to continually feed, diaper, and console a little being who doesn't even make eye contact with you, as it is in the first few weeks. But now that she is seven weeks old, she smiles, looks at me, and even caresses me a lot with her tiny hands. It makes you feel loved, and so the other stuff becomes even easier to do.

The major thing that is awesome, she sleeps 6-8 hours straight every night. I know I am very very lucky and I am probably jinxing myself by putting this out there. She eats a lot then falls asleep between 8-10 and then sleeps until 3-5. Then she wakes up, I feed her a little and then just me and her sleep for another couple of hours in bed together, because Brad leaves for work by then. She is sleeping in her co-sleeper at night now, but naps in the bed. She was sleeping in between us in bed for awhile, but it was just too uncomfortable for me. I was never afraid of rolling over on her, but I just didn't sleep very well and I missed having Brad right next to me. When she grows out of the cosleeper we will probably bring her in bed with us again, but we will push the bed against the wall and put her next to the wall, then me, then Brad.

The hardest part of all of this is being a stay at home mom and not having any other sahm friends. I go weeks without seeing anyone but my baby, husband and mom. I will go to the library and target just to get out of the house. I am super lonely. Logically I know I can't blame my friends, because I am not really calling them either, but I definitely feel like a leper that no one wants to hang out with. I am starting to make a real effort though.

Saturday night I took my baby to a bar.... well actually just the parking lot of a bar. Brad decided to go see a show where a few bands were playing. I drove him there and hung out for a bit in the parking lot, introducing Kennedy to some friends who haven't met her yet. I felt like I was exuding, "Talk to me, I need human interaction!!!!!" Then today we are having a bbq at our house, with my sister's friends. And I want to go to this group at the library; it meets every Friday morning and it is for babies 0-24 months. I also plan on starting to hula hoop, I wanted to go to the local group meeting on Sunday but Brad worked and my Mom is out of town, so I had to stay home with Kennedy. Then this weekend there is a party on Friday night, and a show on Saturday night that I plan on going to with Kennedy. And I will start actually calling (ok, texting) my friends and trying to make plans. Also I go back to school at the end of June so that will give me a daily fix of socializing then.

The gray area

2010-04-24T16:44:00.000-07:00

Before having a baby I would say some things with complete certainty, "I am going to exclusively breastfeed! I am going to cloth diaper! I am going to have a natural labor!" And those are just things just about infancy, I have a whole other list of things that go with foods we are going to feed her, toys we want her to have, T.V., etc.
I am doing these things to a certain extent.
Labor: I had a mostly un-medicated labor, I took one dose of Staydol when I was dilated at 5cm. Labor was the hardest thing I have ever done and I understand completely why people get epidurals. At this point I still don't know whether at my next birth I will do un-medicated again. I probably will because I think the good outweighed the bad/pain, especially because second births are usually shorter than the first one.

Diapers: She doesn't yet fit in her fancy pocket one-size diapers yet. We do have some prefolds and I actually am starting to use them more, but mostly so far we have been using disposables. I fully intend on transitioning to cloth diapers, but I don't think we will give up disposables completely.

Breastfeeding: We are using some formula. You can read all the books you want before having a baby, the reality is very different. I know every situation and every baby is different and I hope that every mother will try her hardest to breastfeed. I do think that a lot of women give up too easily, but as other bloggers have wrote, that is mostly because our culture does not support breastfeeding; most women don't know where to turn when things get hard. It was kind of hard for us. I don't think she latches on perfectly and I have supply issues. I was having a lot of nipple pain; and no matter that the books say that is not normal, all the actual women I know who have breastfed say that pain is normal and that you just have to get used to it.
At this point I am feeding her from the boob, pumping, and giving a formula bottle once or twice a day. I broke down when she was three weeks (about a week ago). It was the middle of the night, she had been attached to me for probably an hour on both sides and yet was still crying because she was hungry. I cried and cried and went to Walmart and got some formula. I am happy with my choice actually. The breastfeeding part was not that hard, it is the time it takes and the lack of personal freedom that wore me down. She was eating every two hours or less. I remember looking at my sleeping husband and saying (in my head), "I hate you for not being able to do this." I was joking, mostly. She still eats a lot of her meals directly from me, but it made such a difference in me, psychologically, knowing that I didn't HAVE to be the one to feed her. I still will breastfeed until she weans herself or she is around two, whatever comes first.

Being a parent is awesome. Things are getting easier as they go along. I still don't get anything done around the house, but I'm sure I will learn how to do that at some point. But I have learned that it is very hard to keep a black and white thought process when it comes to parenting choices. I used to be one of those people who judged other Mothers for their choices and I still do about certain things, we all do, but now I see it from a different perspective and know that most things are located in a gray area.

Labor Story

2010-03-30T17:38:00.000-07:00

Labor was the hardest most intense thing I have ever done.

Saturday morning I woke up just before 6 am with mild contractions. Not too painful but definitely "real" contractions. I started timing them and they were already coming about 4-5 minutes apart. After a couple of hours I called my doula who came over. I labored at home basically snoozing between contractions, then taking a walk, oh and vomiting a couple of times. At about 3 in the afternoon, I decided I wanted to go to the hospital. After planning a labor completely pain medication free, I had already changed my mind and wanted some Stadol.
When we got to the hospital I was admitted, checked and found to be dilated to about 4 cm. The nurse let me get in the tub right away. I found out later that that may not have been a good idea since I was relatively early in my labor, it may have stalled me a bit. I asked for pain medication but we decided that I should try to get a little further along first. So I labored a bit in the bed and on the toilet. When I was checked again at about 9 pm I was at 5cm, 100% effaced and at 0 station. I was given stadol. I wish I wouldn't have taken it. It really doesn't take away the pain at all, I just was able to zone out between contractions. But then when it wore off about an hour later, I wasn't used to the more intense contractions and so they were now even MORE painful.
So now the stadol had worn off and it is probably about 11pm. I get in the tub and labored in there for about an hour. I was already pushing during some of the contractions but I didn't know I was getting close. When I was checked at 9 pm was the last time I was ever checked, which I appreciated. Then I knew I needed to poop and really didn't want to poop in the bath tub. So I sat on the toilet and labored there for about an hour. I knew her head was about to come out but for some reason I didn't say anything. I thought I would jinx myself or something. It is the craziest feeling knowing you are about to tear and pushing through it. Finally I felt head pop out and I said, "I think she is crowning," while lifting myself off the toilet and getting onto all fours. My midwife said, "That is not crowning, the head is already delivered!" Everybody then scrambled to get pads and blankets on the floor and then, plop!, I pushed her the rest of the way out. The midwife caught her and handed her to me between my legs. It was crazy. I think Brad was really freaking out because he had no idea how close I was to being finished and then there she was all of a sudden. Then after a few minutes of being shocked, there on the bathroom floor, Brad got to cut the cord and hold her as I somehow stood up and got to the bed. It really was a surreal experience.

There is a video of most of this, and if I can get Brad to edit it to save at least a little of my modesty, I might put it up here. If you know me in real life and want to see it, just come on over (as long as you don't mind seeing my boobs)

We are now at home and trying to adjust. Kennedy is a very easy baby so far. She likes to suckle a lot though and my nipples do not appreciate it. I am very tired and sore. Brad is the best husband and father. He is helping me with everything and I have to remind him to rest or I know he will run himself out. He is only sad because he can't breastfeed as well to take some of the workload off me!

We are definitely still planning on cloth diapering, but I think we will wait until both her poop changes, and I am less sore and more able to help with laundry and everything.

She is here!!!!

2010-03-30T17:09:00.000-07:00

Our daughter, Kennedy Mae was born early Sunday morning. It was the hardest thing I have ever done and still can't really believe I did it. I am working on the birth story but it will probably take me a while because I feel like I have been hit by a truck.

The day has come...

2010-03-23T00:07:00.000-07:00

Nope, no baby yet; but as of eight minutes ago, it is now officially my due date. My mother-in-law is in town to visit Brad's grandma in the hospital. Unfortunately they have to leave tomorrow. That totally sucks because it means they most likely won't be able to see the baby (unless I go into labor and have the baby by tomorrow midday, probably not going to happen).

I know I should be appreciating all this free time in which I have been reading, watching Friends, playing games online, etc. but I really just can't wait to meet her. It is the craziest feeling knowing that at any time, most likely within the next week, my life is going to change forever. There really is no way to prepare for it; right now my life is the same as it has been, and then all at once, it won't ever be the same again.

I will update as soon as I can after her birth.....

Almost there....

2010-03-06T10:32:00.001-08:00

Wow, another post. It has only been over two months. How are you all? Well this will probably be my last post before our little girl shows herself. I am 37w4d. I have no idea when she will come, but she can't stay in there longer than 30 more days (two weeks late), hopefully way sooner than that. I am now on a leave of absence from beauty school. I wanted to stay longer, but since the baby has dropped I can't stand or walk around for hours at a time; I get bad leg pain and numbing. So for the last week I have been hanging at home and nesting. We just had our baby shower last weekend. It was awesome. We did two great activities that I think should be done at every shower; decorated blank onesies with fabric and made an alphabet book for the baby. Here are some pics:

Also, I made a fabric pennant banner that says our daughter's name, Kennedy Mae. I couldn't get a good picture of it up, but here is a close up of a couple of the pennants. It was super easy because I did the no sew version where you cut out a diamond of fabric and then fold it in half over yarn and hot glue gun it together. Easy.

I really still can't believe I am going to have a baby. But I will post again with pictures of my newborn baby girl!!!!!

Single Ladies - John Barrowman

2009-12-24T11:04:00.001-08:00

This is such a funny video. So cheesy, but I swear it will make you smile

2009-12-15T18:48:00.000-08:00

Here I am at 26 weeks. I think I finally look pregnant and not just fatter than usual! I am just freaking out that Michelle Duggar had her baby because we were exactly the same gestational age with our babies and that means that I could have my baby right now and she would most likely live. So thankful that my pregnancy has been very healthy so far. I am still down 10 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight and have not gained anything.
I am so so lucky because a friend of my Mom's who has a four year old daughter, gave me A LOT of her old clothes. I basically don't have to buy much more baby clothes until she is like three. I hope someone else I know (Amber!) has a baby girl so I can pass these along someday. See the proof below of me with all my loot.

On the name front I think we are definitely leaning towards Kennedy... or Amelia... or.... It is a really hard thing to decide this.

January is going to start making this whole baby thing even more real because we will be touring the hospital and taking an infant care class and what not and also having our baby shower. So keep the last couple weekends in January open (the 24th or 31st?)

Our Baby Girl

2009-11-06T14:21:00.001-08:00

We had our anatomy scan ultrasound this week and found out we are having a girl! And she looks healthy and measures on track. We are so excited and overjoyed. I swear, only now is it really starting to feel real. Here is a video of her moving around and even swallowing near the end.

I keep livin this day like the next will never come

2009-10-23T11:58:00.001-07:00

18 weeks pregnant
Originally uploaded by flyabuv

So yeah, I haven't posted in a month. Sorry about that, I know my few readers have been very disappointed. I am still pregnant and actually considering the fact that I am actually going to have a baby! It still doesn't seem real. My mom is coming home today after being gone for about two months. It will be great to see her but I am expecting some tension because we have been living in her house while she was gone and I know she wants that control of being in charge of her own house back. I know living with her will work out it is just hard balancing that mother/daughter relationship with the landlord/tenant relationship. Especially when it comes to cleaning as I have been known to not do it.
I am 18 weeks pregnant and just had to buy some maternity pants this week. I still have not gained any weight and am actually down 10 lbs from my starting weight. I am eating pretty healthy when I eat, but I just don't think I am eating enough during the day. I think that starting tomorrow (because of my mom) I will be eating more and more healthy. I did start drinking caffeine a few weeks ago, I didn't drink it the first 13 weeks or so, but I just love soda so much! I only drink one every couple of days or so and that is my only source of caffeine and hfcs.
I am scared that I may get or already have gestational diabetes. If you have read this site before you know that I have insulin resistance and PCOS. So I already struggled with my blood sugar before getting pregnant, so now I may already have GD. That scares me mostly because I am seeing, and hope to be delivered by, a midwife. I don't want to become high risk and have to have a high intervention delivery.
I am planning on getting a couple books about GD from the library and changing my diet where necessary.
Now that life will be getting into a regular routine since we are done moving, cleaning my Mom's house, and my Mom will be back; I think I will be getting more prepared for having this baby. I want to read more parenting books (I already have a list) and start knitting and crocheting like crazy.
Here is a pic of me at 18 weeks. I was already fat, so mostly my baby is just pushing that fat forward, but I can tell that my stomach is shaped differently now. Brad commented that the lighting makes it look seedy, like the Fiona Apple video "Criminal"

Moving On

2009-09-03T15:49:00.000-07:00

It is moving time again! Brad and I have moved every year since we have been together (this is our fourth time moving I think). I think this will start to change since we are having a baby, you know, stability and all. But since I am in school full time right now and don't have a job, we can't really afford much on only Brad's income. So.... we are moving in with my Mom!!!!!

We had actually decided to do this before we found out we were pregnant, but now it makes even more sense. My Mom needs the money and we need the discount in rent. We are getting two of her bedrooms and paying her $600 a month (including all utilities). So our only other bills are like food, cell phones, credit card payments, oh and the storage unit we have to get to store some of our stuff.

We are in the middle of moving and it is hell. We don't have to be out of our apartment until October 9th, so we have been taking car loads of stuff over to our new house almost daily. But the issue is, my Mom is out of town for a few weeks and she wants us to be completely moved in and the house clean by the time she gets back.

This is hard because my Mom has so much unorganized stuff! I am slowely sorting things and making room. I just went through her medicine cabinet and threw away SO MUCH expired medicine; what used to take up a whole cabinet in the kitchen, now takes up one shelf.

Also, it is hard because we have two cats; and so does my Mom. That's right, we are now a FOUR cat household. My Mom's two cats, Hailey and Jolie are inside/outside cats. They are tough, but friendly and go outside to use the bathroom and frolic and then come inside to sleep or relax. My cats, Beans and Rice, are inside cats; we are willing to make them inside/outside cats but they aren't yet. The cat introductions are not going superbly well. Beans and Rice are very trusting and interested in these new "friends"; Jolie and Hailey hiss and growl. Oh well, I'm sure it will get better

PREGNANCY RELATED:

I am now 11w4d pregant. I am nauteous all the time and have thrown up some. I am crying over tiny things and I'm sure freaking out Brad. Brad hates it when I gag, he says it too close to throwing up and I say there is a big difference!

I am really frustrated because I still don't have insurance. I am in the process of getting AHCCCS and it is hard. They need so much paperwork!

I will try to post some pictures of our new house some time next week after I clean it more.

Leviathan trailer

2009-09-02T13:13:00.001-07:00

Wow, this book looks amazing. I love Scott Westerfeld

Yep, I'm knocked up

2009-08-25T19:26:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted anything of substance in a while, because on July 17th I found out that I am PREGNANT!!!!!!! And that is all I have wanted to talk about but I wanted to hold off for a while. I am now 10 weeks 1 day and am very excited. My periods are so random and I don't ovulate on time because according to the ist day of my last menstrual period I should be about 12 weeks, but I went to the doctor and got a sonogram and according to the size of the baby I am only ten weeks. We got to see the heart beating any everything. Pretty effing awesome.

And I know this is cliched, but it happened like the week after I stopped thinking about it at all. We had been trying for about a year and even did a couple of rounds of clomid earlier this year. Then I started school on June 22nd and was so busy and having so much fun that I just stopped thinking about trying for a baby and then we conceived probably the second week of school. Crazy right!!!!!

I am due in March

Make a pregnancy ticker

John Hughes

2009-08-07T23:06:00.000-07:00

This made me cry, but really what doesn't these days

John Hughes has probably affected every person out there. If it wasn't from The Breakfast Club, it was Home Alone, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Weird Science, or even Uncle Buck.

Are You F*cking Kidding Me? (Facebook Song) LIVE

2009-07-30T14:51:00.001-07:00

Funny. Language is not safe for work. I just became friends with one of my first boyfriends on facebook today. He was my first kiss and I didn't even remember what he looked like. Crazy

Red, White, and Blue

2009-07-02T23:14:00.000-07:00

Today in beauty school, we had an ice cream social and a fantasy hair contest, with a Fourth of July theme. I really don't know much about doing hair yet, but I do know how to crochet, so I thought I would combine the two. Here is a few pics of the hair style I "created". I didn't win though.

And here are some other hairstyles from the day.

How to Meet and Woo a Nerdy Girl

2009-06-29T00:43:00.000-07:00

A great instructional list over at The Park Bench that I just had to share:

Tip #1: Know where to look.

The number one thing to know about nerdy girls -- they're probably not going to be doing body shots at the local sports bar on a Friday night. If they're out partying, it's over a micro-brewed pale ale in the quiet corner of their local hole-in-the-wall watering hole. Other good places to spot nerdy women: libraries, bookstores, used bookstores, any other place with books you can think of, comic book stores, knitting stores, craft stores, sitting in the park...reading a book, the local cat fanciers convention, at a midnight showing of "Alien" or in their living rooms, watching "Firefly" again.

Tip #2: It helps to look like this guy:

On the other hand, it helps to look like this guy too:

You're pretty much good either way.

Tip #3: Read lots of books.

Here’s the brutal truth: the nerd girl of your dreams is a brainiac. She’s going to know a lot of stuff about a lot of stuff. You’re going to need to study up -- none of that sitting at the coffee shop with an unread copy of “The Waste Land” in your hand, trying to impress the shallow ladies. Your nerd girl will check to make sure that the spine on the book is cracked and cracked good. She likely also will ask you to compare “The Waste Land” to “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.” If you have to resort to Cliff's Notes, do it surreptitiously. It’s like getting a butt implant – the nerd girls will know you’re faking it.

Tip #4: Don’t slack off on your video game skills.

One of the prime perks of dating a nerdy woman is that she will not yell at you for playing video games rather than, say, going shoe shopping with her. In fact, she likely will sit down next to you and pick up a controller. Here’s the thing though: she’s probably good at whatever game you’re playing so you better be good at it too. Whether it’s Mario Kart or Tiger Woods Golf or the bloody carnage of Grand Theft Auto, she will show no mercy. Practice, practice, practice!

Tip #5: Listen to NPR.

Nerd girls like to stay up to date on their current events…and they like to do it with the dulcet, sometimes somnolent tones of NPR broadcasters. Beware, though, of the onset of NPR depression which stems from listening to so much news and sad stories about flooding in Nova Scotia or the inequities facing migrant workers that you become convinced the world is doomed and there’s no use leaving your house in the morning. This will put a damper on your dating. However, this prevalent disease also will give you an out if you've had to slack off on your NPR duties – just say, “I had to take an NPR break. Sometimes it makes me sad.” This serves two purposes: it gets you off the hook AND it makes you look sensitive. Bonus!

Tip #6: Be interesting.

Whereas a lot of ladies want you to be rich, nerdy women just want you to be interesting. Do you have a comic book collection that spans decades and rests in a vault somewhere untouched by human hands? That’s kinda cool. Are you learning how to do animation so you can one day post the adventures of a hobo cat online? That’s kinda cool too. Maybe you build houses for the poor on weekends or spend an afternoon teaching creative writing to high school kids? Awesome and more awesome. It doesn't matter what you do, just do it well.

Tip #7: Know your pop culture references.

Know the complete works of the Nerd Holy Trinity: Joss Whedon, J.J. Abrams and Peter Jackson. Know that Nathan Fillion will always be on your girl’s “freebie” list. When she goes to church and thanks God that Robert Downey Jr. survived the 1980s so he could play Iron Man, say “Amen” right alongside her. And for the love of all that is sacred and holy, do not EVER get “Star Wars” and “Star Trek” confused: one has Wookiees, one has Shatner, it’s not that hard.

Tip #8: Compliment her by saying, “You remind me so much of Liz Lemon.”

This is truly the highest form of flattery for just about any nerdy woman. Liz Lemon is our patron saint. Her inability to wear high heels, keep food off her face or refrain from making penis jokes while holding a tower made of Legos in her hands makes us reflect fondly on our own quirks. We love her…and you should too.

Tip #9: Embrace her collectibles.

That is not a euphemism for something pervy. It’s just a fact. When you walk into her apartment for the first time and notice a glass cabinet filled with a miniature TARDIS, a sombrero-wearing Giles, a 17-inch Han Solo and a two-foot long replica of the Enterprise NCC-1701-D, do not say, “What the hell is all this stuff?” Instead say, “What the hell? Why don’t you have MORE of this stuff? And may I mail order something for you?”

Tip #10: Be willing to go to conventions.

It’s just a thing we do. Relax and embrace it…and know that nine times out of ten, you’ll catch a glimpse of some nubile young woman dressed as a Princess Leia slave girl. It’s what the universe does to reward patience of our significant others.

Tip #11: Know what to do in a zombie attack.

We've been practicing for this one for a long time. We don't want to have to leave you behind.

Well, that about covers it. Congratulations on taking your first steps on the road to nerd girl nirvana. Know that you have selected the finest kind of woman possible. Way to go, champ!

Rpatz vs. Chick Norris

2009-06-26T00:30:00.000-07:00

Oh god, this is so funny and stupid; but only if you like Twilight and/or have read those Chuck Norris sayings like, "Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer, too bad he has never cried." Yes those are very funny; but these are funnier. These great sayings were posted on Letters To Rob, which is a hilarious blog about all things Robert Pattinson.

So without further ado, the list:

1. Robert Pattinson does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Robert Pattinson.

2. Robert Pattinson can dazzle you with his eyes closed.

3. Robert Pattinson can make trees bend to him by *sparkling*.

4. Robert Pattinson doesn’t own a house, he walks into random ones and the owners are happy to leave.

5. The original plan for the first GPS system was to track Robert Pattinson’s every movement.

6. In Robert Pattinson, you can always find a party.

7. Weapons of mass destruction weren’t found in Iraq, they were found in Robert Pattinson’s pants.

8. The leading twinkle lights claim they can dazzle 99.99 percent of people..

9. Robert Pattinson can dazzle 100 percent of whatever the f*ck he wants.

10. When Robert Pattinson falls in water, Robert Pattinson doesn’t get wet. Water gets Robert Pattinson.

11. Robert Pattinson destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of ~dazzle~.

12. Einstein’s original Theory of Relativity was; if Robert Pattinson ~dazzles~ you, your relatives will feel it.

13. Robert Pattinson killed Cedric Diggory

14. Robert Pattinson can turn back time.

15. Maslow’s theory of higher needs does not apply to Robert Pattinson. He only has two needs: ~dazzling~ people and finding people to ~dazzle~.

16. Robert Pattinson isn’t just Pretty in Pink, he is Mindblowing in Pink.

17. Robert Pattinson plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.

18. Robert Pattinson got a perfect score on his SAT’s, simply by writing Robert Pattinson for every answer.

19. Love stops in the name of Robert Pattinson.

20. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Robert Pattinson.

21. Robert Pattinson asked for a love song. Sara Bareilles wrote it.

22. Robert Pattinson can divide by zero.

23. Robert Pattinson can have his cake and eat it too, except he doesn’t like cake. Cake died from embarrassment.

24. Robert Pattinson knows the solution to global warming. He just won’t tell because he enjoys the sun -it makes him sparkle.

25. Robert Pattinson can’t speak french...just kidding.

26. Robert Pattison can dazzle faster than the speed of light.

27. Robert Pattinson listens to bands that don’t even exist yet.

28. Robert Pattinson pissed in a bottle. This product is now known as “Vitamin Water”

29. If you ask Robert Pattinson what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds ’til.” After you ask, “Two seconds ’til what?” he ~dazzles~ you.

30. Robert Pattinson did not lose his virginity, he stalked and destroyed it with extreme prejudice.

31. Um... yeah.... instead of saying "sexy" we should just say "robert pattinson"
Robert Pattinson brought sexy back.

32. If you spell Robert Pattinson in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

33. Robert Pattinson is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Robert Pattinson.

34. Robert Pattinson once ate three steaks in an hour. He spent the first forty-five minutes having sex with the waitress.

35. There is no night and day. Only Robert Pattinson saying “lumos”

36. Robert Pattinson doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

37. The light at the end of the tunnel is actually Robert Pattinson.

38. Robert Pattinson is never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, Never gonna run around and desert you.

My life has changed..... and my blog

2009-06-25T20:05:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I don't think I mentioned this, but I was looking into beauty school for a while and a few weeks ago I actually signed up, and this week I started! Monday night was orientation and we got our kits then. It was amazing, I got about $1000 worth of stuff all at once like a blow dryer, curling iron, flat iron, shears, clippers, clips, manicure set, and the list goes on. I am doing it full time so I go Tuesday through Saturday 8:30 am to 4:00 pm. I have been home without a job for so long that it is great to be around people again. Although beauty school is very drama filled. Imagine 10-20 girls in a room for seven hours a day. Yeah.

Tuesday (first day of class) we learned how to shampoo a client. Wednesday we did our first haircuts (on mannequin heads of course). Today we put perm rods on our mannequin heads. It is so fun.

On the diet front I am only down about 15 pounds. I really need to up the exercise, that is my main problem. I am doing fine on the diet front. My new drinks of choice are the Sobe water and Vitamin water; the ones that are sweetened with Stevia (a natural sweetener). Low carb, but still taste great. I think just being at school should help with the physical fitness part at least a little since I am on my feet most of the day.

If you haven't noticed I completely changed the look of my blog. I added a Twitter widget because I actually update that more than I have been updating my blog.

Whew, that was a lot of info to take in, huh? Well again I will try to update more, especially about beauty school and what I am learning.

Insulin-Resistance Diet

2009-06-03T16:36:00.000-07:00

There have been a few changes in my diet and in my life!

1. I am still dieting, but not really doing the south beach thing anymore. I did the no carbs for two weeks and did lose ten pounds. I went to the library and got a few books on Insulin Resistance, which is what i have and what causes my PCOS. The book I am most following now is The Insulin-Resistance Diet. The main principle is to link and balance protein and carbs. I always eat protien with every meal and can only have 30 grams of carbs per meal. This will keep my insulin from spiking. If I have extra insulin in my body, it gets stored as fat. It has been very easy to do so far.

The IR diet doesn't restrict which carbs to eat, but I am taking some ideas from other books and my own knowledge and trying not to eat "bad" carbs. So yes, I could drink soda as long as I eat some protien with it, but I would rather not. The carbs I am mostly eating is whole grain bread, fruit, and I haven't yet, but probably lentils, quinoa, and brown rice. I have been drinking/eating a lot of dairy for my protein; about 2-3 glasses of milk per day with my meals, and string cheese with fruit for snacks.

I am still not doing so great on the exercise front. It is so hot here that I don't want to even go outside! I did blow up my exercise ball that I have and did about ten minutes of the DVD that goes with it. It is so hard!

2. We were trying to get pregnant this month (not sure why since our insurance just ran out and we have no money) and took clomid. I did ovulate but did not get pregnant. I know this because... I actually am on my period right now! I am very excited about that, that is the second best thing to being pregnant. Seems weird right, but that is because I rarely have a period normally and will go months without having one. That is a symptom of my PCOS. So I had a relatively "normal" cycle of 33 days. That is amazing, and is just a motivation to keep on this lower carb diet. If I can lose some weight and ovulate on my own, I should be able to get pregnant totally naturally!!!!!!!

3. But we will not be trying for a while now because... I just signed up for cosmetology school!!!! I start on June 23 and it is a ten month program. Unfortunately I found out that although I will get loans to pay for the schooling, they do not give any extra loans for living expenses, so I will most likely have to get a part time job. I am going to have to try hard to eat right while I am there for eight hours a day. I will probably have to bring a cooler with me will lots of good snacks like hard boiled eggs, string cheese, fruit, and veggies.

Well wish me luck, I will still try to update every week

South Beach Diet, end of week 1 of Phase 1

2009-05-25T04:11:00.000-07:00

Well I have lost about 8 pounds! I am so psyched. I did cheat a tiny bit, Brad tells me I shouldn't beat myself up, but I want to do better. Every bite of something sweet or bready I'm about to take I should ask myself, "Do I want this bite of cheesecake, or a baby?" I never ate a bad meal or binged or anything; but when I was in Tucson for three days it was hard. There was cheesecake, and eating out, and donuts. Thankfully I only ever had a bite or two of anything bad.

I've consumes more aspartame this week than I probably have in the past year. I just never usually eat diet stuff. But I was craving sweets so bad that I have had a couple diet sodas and what not.

Over all this is working out great. I need to work out more, being out of town made it hard. Wish me luck on this coming week!

Long time no talk

2009-05-17T15:52:00.000-07:00

Wow, it has been over two months since I updated this. Unfortunately, not much in my life has changed. I still don't have a job, although I have an interview on Monday (Yay!).

I am still having fertility issues. We cannot afford to go to a fertility specialist right now. I am going to start concentrating on what I can do to help in that area by changing my diet and exercise habits. Now, I have read a lot about fat acceptance and HAES (health at every size) and I totally believe that you don't need to be skinny to be healthy and beautiful. That being said, my insulin resistance causes me to crave carbs and sugars and if I keep eating that way, I WILL get diabetes. Also, I do not exercise much at all.

So I am starting the South Beach diet today. I really like their exercise and eating plan. I think it is the best course for me. The goal here is to eat more healthy and exercise in order to have more energy, build my core muscles (hopefully get rid of back pain), and hopefully start having a regular cycle and ovulating again. I will almost certainly lose weight while doing this, but that is not my main goal.

So wish me luck and I will try to update this more often!

Breaking up is hard to do

2009-03-10T11:39:00.001-07:00

I have been working for a little over ten years (since I was 15), for more than half of that time (since 2003) I worked at DHL but last week, unfortunately I got laid off. I don't need to panic yet, because they gave me a pretty good severance package. Not that I am going to wait for that to run out before I look for a job, but it will be nice at least for this week just to relax and know that I am getting paid for it.

I sometimes complained about my job because I didn't have a lot of friends there. I was friendly to everyone, I just didn't hang out with anyone outside of work. But on Friday a lot of people from work got together for a little party and it was so fun. I would have loved my job even more if we had had these little get togethers while I was working there.

If you know of a job where I never have to leave my apartment and get to watch movies or read all day, please let me know!

Dimlight, a TWILIGHT parody

2009-03-03T11:39:00.001-08:00

God, this girl is like me. I am like a teenage girl when it comes to Twilight. The other night I was reading a Nora Roberts book in bed and Brad was all,
"Is that a vampire book?"
and I was all, "No, just a romance novel."
"A vampire romance novel?"
"Nope, I do read some regular books." I then went on to read a vampire/werewolf book every other night this week. God, I love Laurell K. Hamilton books.

found via letters to twilight

Guilt Free Three

2009-03-02T13:46:00.000-08:00

Dev Patel - I have a huge crush on this man/boy. Hey, he's 18, so its okay. I have liked him since seeing the show Skins and seem to have dreams about him once a month or so.

Joel McHale - He is so freaking funny on The Soup

David Tennant - The 10th Doctor. He may not be as beautiful by just looking at him, but on screen he is so charismatic and wonderful.

Sweet Tea

2009-03-01T12:08:00.000-08:00

Seeing as it is 77°F outside right now. I made this wonderful yumminess:

Sweet tea with fresh mint leaves. I decided mint leaves crushed by my fingers is my new favorite smell of all time.

Updated to add: Okay, it was actually 86°F on Saturday and it is supposed to be 90 effing °F today. But then it will be back to the mid 70's by the end of the week.

TMI

2009-02-24T11:51:00.000-08:00

If you are guy, you may want to stop reading now.

I actually started my period today! It has been 67 days since my last one (and no I was never pregnant). I have an appointment for a new ob/gyn in April (there was no openings before then). I am so happy that my body is showing at least this sign that it is working. In January I did a round of clomid 50 mg, but obviously it didn't work. I am annoyed because I don't even know if I ovulated at all because my previous gyno didn't monitor that. I will push for that this time.

This is a great tool for tracking your menstrual cycles. It looks pretty, and is very easy to use; then it predicts when you will ovulate.

I feel cheated

2009-02-24T09:35:00.000-08:00

I got a few more books at the library the other day. I haven't read them all yet, but I wanted to mention these two books.

From This Day by Nora Roberts. Okay, I have read a lot of Nora Roberts but this was so crappy. I didn't realize until I started reading it that it is one of her earlier books, published the year I was born. The guy basically infers that he will force himself on this girl if she doesn't open up to him, but that is supposed to make him strong and attractive; but I just thought he was a douche. Then he tells her that they are getting married, not asks, tells. But there was no sex in the entire book! That is just crazy. I don't know when she changed her mind to thinking sex before marriage is okay, but I'm sure glad she did, or I would never read another of her romance novels.

The Sugar Queen by Sarah Addison Allen. I LOVE this author. This is only the second book she has written, but I will read anything she comes out with for the rest of my life. Her books are magical. I absolutely adored her first book Garden Spells. Amber, you will love these books. Read them now! The Sugar Queen is about a girl, Josey, in her late twenties who is taking care of her mother (who treats her like shit). She hides junk food and romance novels in her closet and is in love with her mailman. Until one day a women she barely knows, Della Lee, show up in her closet and won't leave. Della Lee helps Josey come out of her shell and change her life. I know that kind of sounds like many other "chick lit" novels, but this is not like that; this story is very original. They mention that Josey is just this side of plump, but that is not a big part of the story, she doesn't hate herself and lose weight, and then get the guy (I hate that). She just discovers what was already there.

he can actually play a guitar!

2009-02-20T07:17:00.000-08:00

Brad is playing a show tonight if you want to come. Hope to see you there!

in which I cry a lot

2009-02-10T12:08:00.000-08:00

Brad was having problems with his asthma yesterday so he stayed home from work. His inhaler had just run out the night before. I told him to call Target to get it refilled and then I would pick it up after work. But he messaged me back that he couldn't talk enough to call Target. I called him right away because I didn't understand what he meant; he was having such a hard time breathing that he could barely talk in full sentences. I freaked out. Remember in that Sex in the City episode where Big is going to have heart surgery and Carrie would just start crying when she tried to talk about it. That was me. I went to the bathroom and balled my eyes out. I left work (after barely being able to ask to leave without crying more) and picked up his inhaler and brought it to him and cried some more right after he used his inhaler and was almost instantly better. I was just so scared. Of course he wasn't scared and said it happens sometimes. I had to remind him that it has never been that bad since we've been together and that has been four+ years.

Of course later that night he felt well enough to have a cigarette. Don't get me started on that.

In which I limp all around San Francisco

2009-02-06T10:55:00.000-08:00

My foot has been hurting for awhile, more specifically my heel. When I get out of bed I am limping for a while, if I walk for long distances I start limping. I finally figured out that I most likely have plantar fasciitis. You know what made me figure it out? This awesome ad that I saw in the Sky Mall catalog on the flight to San Francisco in October (I totally want this by the way!)

But what I just realized today (yes, I am stupid) is that wearing tennis shoes, or more supportive shoes helps. So as I have been walking around for the last few months in my flimsy converse shoes and flats with no arch support, that was probably making it worse. I was just being stubborn. Now I need to find some pretty shoes that actually have arch support. Any ideas?

Books

2009-02-03T13:05:00.000-08:00

Things I have read in the last couple of weeks:

Amazing Grace by Megan Shull This book was so cute and made me want to move to Alaska. Is there a greater complement?

Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac by Gabrielle Zevin. This is by the same author as Elswhere, which was also such an original story. This was very good, but I didn't really feel that connected to the characters.

Empress of the World by Sara Ryan About a girl falling in love with another girl for the first time.

True Betrayals by Nora Roberts. Girl meets boy, there is some drama, they fall in love. Is there really a need for me to describe this?

Lovers and Dreamers by Nora Roberts. Or this?

Irish Born by Nora Roberts. Or this?

Gabriel's Angel by Nora Roberts. Or this?

First Impressions by Nora Roberts. Or this?

Blue Smoke by Nora Roberts. Or This?

As the World Burns: 50 Simple Things You Can Do to Stay in Denial by Derrick Jensen (Author), Stephanie McMillan (Illustrator) This graphic novel was depressing. One of the reasons I gave up soda.

The Dead and the Gone by Susan Beth Pfeffer. I love this. This is a companion book to Life As We Knew It. It is about the same event (the moon getting hit with a metor and the aftermath) through the eyes of a teen in a totally different situation.

Wolf Tales by Kate Douglas. Yes this is werewolf erotica, yes it is as bad (and good) as it sounds.

Money

2009-02-03T12:39:00.001-08:00

One of our goals this year is to save money; we need to buy a new car, and want to buy a laptop. I am not one of those people who always gets new cars; but if we have a kid at some point, I don't think they will want to be strapped in the bed of my truck. Hopefully after getting a new car I will not have to get another one for ten years.

Here are some of the things we are changing and how much it will save us:
Canceled Sirius radio :sob: $14/month
Changed Netflix from four at time to two at a time: $10/month
Canceled gym membership :joy: $20/month
Stop eating out as much. This will save at least $100/month

After one year, that should save us around $1728. Also I have stopped drinking soda, that is not really for saving money, more my health and the environment; but it can't hurt. If I get water every time we go out instead of soda, that should save some money. $1700 is not that much, but it will feel so good to have actual money in our savings account.

Habby Birthday To Me!

2009-01-29T20:49:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I took the day off of work for my birthday. I tried to sleep in but the landscapers were doing their thing (with chainsaws!) and woke me up at like 9:30. Yes, that may seem like sleeping in, but sleeping in for me is like noon. So since I was up, Brad and I took the light rail downtown and had lunch with my Mom and then went to the main Phoenix Public Library. It is five stories tall! It was pretty impressive, but I still like the Tempe one better. But the Phoenix Library does have a way better CD selection. I checked out the following cds from the library:
Rosie Thomas - If Songs Could Be Held
the thermals - the body the blood the machine
Damien Jurado - On My Way to Absence
Emiliana Torrini - Fisherman's Woman
The String Cheese Incident - Outside Inside
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - Living with the Living
the Elected - Sun Sun Sun
Patty Griffin - Living with Ghosts
Erin Mckeown - Grand
Ben Weaver - Paper Sky

Some of these groups, I have never listened to, only heard of; so I don't actually know if I will like them all.

Later that night we got sushi with a few friends and then for desert went next door to a Mexican restaurant and got fried ice cream. All of it was super yummy.

Imagination or Symptoms?

2009-01-21T13:32:00.000-08:00

I can never tell if I am having real symptoms or just convincing myself I have symptoms after reading what symptoms I "should have". Case in point, when I read side effects for medicines I'm taking, I start to have those symptoms. Really? Or am I just imagining them? The same thing is happening now with pregnancy symptoms. Not that I am not having those symptoms, but some of them can mean that my period is coming as well. Oh well, I will just keep waiting and taking a hpt every couple of days (still negative as of Monday). I really want to save up some money and go to a Reproductive Endocrinologist (my insurance doesn't cover it) because I feel I will get better care there. My regular OB/GYN is just not cutting it. Anyone want to give me the name of their awesome Phoenix based OB/GYN with me?

The T-Mobile Dance

2009-01-21T12:27:00.001-08:00

I guess this is an advertisement, but I just love it and it will make you smile! Enjoy.

found via kttke.org

A New Year

2009-01-15T11:49:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that I am going to turn 26 in a couple of weeks. It's not so much that I feel old because I love getting older; but I just can't believe that ten years ago I was 16, that I have been working now for ten years, that I have some of the same friends from ten years ago. I changed friends often when I was younger so I never thought I would have long term friends, but it seems that I may now have some of the same friends for life (Amber, Christy, Laura). I remember when I was younger my Mom would talk to her friends that lived in different states. I thought it was odd and couldn't imaging doing that, but now I have friends like that. Friends that you are not making new memories with, mostly just re-hashing old memories when you speak. But that is also falling by the wayside because of Myspace and Facebook. I can just look on there to see what some old friends are doing. I don't really talk to anyone on those sites, I just check some old friends' sites to see what they are up to.

P.S. I started using Twitter. So follow me if you would like

Derby Girl/ Whip it!

2009-01-14T10:21:00.000-08:00

I just read this book yesterday. I loved it so much (I say this about almost all books, except Inexcusable, grrr, I hated that book)! It is a bout a small town teenage misfit who often visits the closest biggest city Austin, Texas and ends up joining the Roller Derby team there. I identify with most teenage girls in books (what? I was a teenage only 6 years ago!), but this one actually was interested in things like music and activities that I am interested in. If I had even more confidence than I already have, I would love to join Roller Derby, or if I knew how to skate well. She falls for a guy in a band along the way. Which is bad news, except for all the guys I know in bands; who are great guys and wonderful boyfriends/husbands.

Just now while searching for stuff about this book, I found out that it is being made into a movie! Directed by Drew Barrymore! Starring Juno star Ellen Page! But the lead guy does not look like the guy described in the book (too hipster, not enough rock'n'roll), boo!

I hate Raymond

2009-01-12T09:54:00.000-08:00

I remember not so long ago that every time I turned on the TV I could probably find a Friends or Scrubs episode; and it was awesome. I love those two shows. But that time has ended. As the powers that be have decided instead to show King of Queens, Everybody Loves Raymond, and Two and a Half Men on every channel. I dislike all of these shows, but I really hate Everybody Loves Raymond especially because it does make me laugh sometimes (which makes me hate myself). But Raymond is a freaking jerk to his wife, he is a mama's boy, and is so super annoying. I just really despise him and can't watch that show for more than five minutes at a time.

Juanita June Teach (Lidgard) 1920-2008

2009-01-12T08:28:00.000-08:00

My Great Grandmother died yesterday at home, asleep, surrounded by her family. She hasn't been doing well for awhile and broke her hip a few weeks ago while in Hawaii and it has been downhill since then. This weekend all the family was called to come and visit her because she wasn't really waking up anymore and they were just keeping her comfortable. We didn't know how long she would last because of her pacemaker, but she died yesterday and my Dad told me he was by her side.

I am feeling very sad for my Great Aunt Sally right now. A year ago she was living with three people; her husband Lee, her mother (my g.grandmother) and her stepfather (my step-great grandfather and my ggma's fourth husband). My step-g.grandfather died earlier last year, my Great Uncle Lee died a couple of days after our wedding in October and now my grandmother. It has been a lot for her to handle and I'm not sure where she will go from here.

My g.grandma was 88 years old and only in the last six months or so has her memory even started going at all. She went to Hawaii only a few weeks ago to visit her son and always commented on how she needed to meet new men. She was funny and opinionated. I love that when I went to visit her in October, she told me that she really liked Obama. I wish I would have known more about her life; I don't even know much about my parents' lives when they were younger. My family is not big on sharing which is something I plan on changing with my own family. But she did tell me one story not too long ago.

I asked her how she got together with my g.grandfather; she told me the story of how when she was about 20 she was dating a Bohemian (her words, I didn't quite know what that meant) and her Mother did not like it one bit. Della forbid her from seeing the said Bohemian. So to spite her mother, Juanita married my great grandfather Ralph Irwin who was 20 years her senior. Well her mother was not happy about that either. Always the rebellious one!

Four years

2009-01-06T14:10:00.000-08:00

New Years eve/day was Brad and mine's four year anniversary of the date we got together. My mother has already informed me that now I have to count my wedding date as my anniversary. No thanks! I like having our anniversary on a holiday, although we did get married on National Coming Out Day!

We were watching an episode of X-Files yesterday where Skinner and his wife almost got divorced and she said that they had become only roommates to each other. I told Brad that even if we ever fell out of love that I wanted to live with him forever because he is the best roommate ever! He is my best friend. I am so thankful that he puts up with my laziness. There is nothing that we love more than to spend the day in bed watching movies. He has a sweet tooth and he asks me to make ice cream at ten o'clock at night (although the frozen yogurt last night was my idea). He is such a talented artist and musician. I think his song lyrics are amazing and his comics are so witty. I hope that he finds a path to do what he loves and get paid for it

Brad, I love you so much!

I need more information!

2009-01-05T14:56:00.000-08:00

I just finished this book. It was so so good. I loved it. But it had the same problem that I have with many books and movies; what happens next! I get so invested in these characters' lives and then I never get to know how they end up. At the end of a book/movie I don't want to have to imagine that the couple got married, or what their house looks like, or if they had kids, or if she reunited with her family, etc.... That is why I'm reading a book because I want you tell me a story with a beginning, middle, and an end. Just hinting at things won't do it for me. That is why I really liked the epilogue in the final Harry Potter book. It gave me closure. Yes, I like those paragraphs at the end of movies that tell me how the characters end up. I want a book that follows a character all the way to their death and then maybe keeps going with a sequal about that characters kids. I want a never ending series.

Name Change

2009-01-02T12:28:00.000-08:00

I finally changed my name and got my new driver's license today. I originally went in and changed it in November, but that was a disaster. In my state, first you have to go to the SS office and change your name there. So my birth name is Bubba Shannon Magillicutty (some names have been changed!) I have always gone by my middle name Shannon since I was very little so I wanted to get rid of my first name, make my middle name my first name and my maiden name my middle name. So at the SS office I changed my name to Shannon Magillicutty Dwyer (Dwyer is Brad's last name). They had no problem doing this.

Then two days late I go to the DMV to get a new license and they say no go. I am not allowed to change my first name, the only thing I am allowed to do is drop my last name and add his last name. I can't do hyphenated or anything else. I only have one choice (or I might have been able to just add his last name, giving me four names). If I wanted to keep Shannon Magillicutty Dwyer I would have to apply for a legal name change which costs about $300 and I would have to go to court and everything. So now I have new social security card with one name and a driver's license with another. I was very upset.

So I dilly dallied for the last month trying to decide what to do. Finally a few days ago I went back to the SS office and just changed my last name to Dwyer. So now I am Bubba Shannon Dwyer. I had to take a new picture for the license at the DMV because my last picture was from when I was 16, ten years ago. Of course I haven't taken a shower today and I look like crap. Oh well, I have a new name and all is well in the world.

I am pretty pissed at the status quo and that there are not many options for people changing their names. I think as long as one keeps two out of your three birth names, one should be able to change their name to any combination they choose. Boo to the patriarchy!

Hallelujah Vacation Hours!

2009-01-02T12:15:00.001-08:00

I have spent the last couple of months since the wedding with no vacation hours left. It really stinks. Thankfully since we are not busy they have been letting us take some days off without pay. It was great being able to take off the two days before Christmas, but it means that my paycheck today was crappy.

The last three years I got three weeks of vacation a year, but since this year marks my four year anniversary here, I now get four weeks of vacation. That is so amazing to me. I could take off a whole month of work and get paid for it!

Unfortunately our vacation doesn't accumulate so this time all has to be used this year. So I am going to try and save most of it but if I am not pregnant by April (if I am I will need to save the time for maternity leave) I will be taking a lot of vacations! I am not one to take really long vacations. I usually take a day off every few weeks just to sleep in and do nothing.

Where have I been?

2008-12-29T12:57:00.001-08:00

At home, in bed. Watching a lot of Doctor Who and Torchwood. I really don't know why I don't blog more. Probably because I don't really have much to say sometimes. Oh, I could probably blog a lot about my love for all things Doctor Who, or perhaps politics (although that would depress me); but I think that would bore most people.

I am so happy that I have finally gotten one person to watch Doctor Who, my father. He has watched some of series one on Netflix online and loved them. Yay! If only everyone I told about Doctor who would watch it, then there would be like 25 new loyal viewers. I am pretty upset that there will not be a new season until 2010 and it will be with a new Doctor. I can't even explain the love I have for David Tennant. And although i don't love Torchwood as much, I just love how sexually abiguous everyone is on that show; everyone seems to be bisexual. It's awesome! On US Television same sex kisses are treated oddly, either with scantily clad women, or it somehow feels taboo; but on Torchwood it is treated as completely normal and I really like how it is done.

See are you bored yet?

Things are hopefully progressing on the baby making front. I went to the ob/gyn and got Provera to jump start my period, then Clomid 50mg on cycle days 3-7 to force me to ovulate. Right now I am on CD (cycle day) 9 so I should hopefully ovulate anyday now. The ob/gyn didn't put me on Metformin which was discouraging. Many people who have PCOS, if they get pregnant, will have a miscarriage if their insulin resistance is not taken care of. So instead I am taking a cinnamon supplement everyday, that is supposed to balance my sugar levels. So we should know by my 26th birthday (January 28)whether I am pregnant or not. Please send good thought my way (or pray if that is your thing). Thanks!

A VERY MERRY UNAUTHORIZED CHILDRENS SCIENTOLOGY PAGEANT

2008-12-05T08:31:00.001-08:00

I saw this play last night and it was so hilarious. I loved it and I think everyone should see it. Here is the description:
This holiday season, join us as a jubilant cast of children celebrate the controversial Church of Scientology in uplifting pageantry and song. The actual teachings of Scientology are explained and dissected against the candy-colored backdrop of a traditional nativity play. An ensemble cast of grade school children (no, we're not kidding) portraying Tom Cruise, Kirstie Alley, John Travolta, and other less starry Scientologists, tells the story of L. Ron Hubbard's meteoric rise from struggling science fiction writer to supreme leader of a (highly-profitable) New Age religiuos empire. Avant-garde performance art and children's theatre meet in one of the funniest and most bewildering holiday shows - we guarantee - you will ever see.

You can buy tickets at http://straycattheatre.org.

Baby name

2008-12-03T19:09:00.001-08:00

I have always liked the name Harper for a girl. If it was my choice our hypothetical daughter would be Harper Mae Dwyer. But Brad just isn't warming up to it for some reason. Great, vetoed already and I'm not even pregnant.

Prop 8 Musical

2008-12-03T11:16:00.000-08:00

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Found via Offbeat Bride

Our Wedding Mix

2008-12-01T12:08:00.000-08:00

I don't think I ever shared our wedding mix with you all. It's never too late.

The only song that is missing is Tegan and Sara - When I Get Up. Here is song being performed by them. And one song that is wrong on there is Linus and Lucy. The version on this play list is from the Charlie Brown movie, but the one we had was by The Ergs.

If you don't notice a trend, almost all of these songs are from movies; Juno, Something's Gotta Give, Beetle Juice, Ghostbusters, Dan in Real Life, Dirty Dancing, Life Aquatic, Across the Universe..... This is probably the best mix of my life.

The cd cover art was that drawing that Brad made

Wedding Photos

2008-11-26T12:06:00.000-08:00

I got my photos. Take a look at the flickr I love the photos so much. They are amazing! I am reliving the memories already. I am so happy with these

**edited** I have fixed the link to the photos

Road Block

2008-11-12T09:13:00.000-08:00

Well it's official, I do have PCOS. I went to the doctor yesterday to get the results of my sonogram. I have many cysts and enlarged ovaries. It is a nice to know I actually have something; but I am feeling a lot of anger towards western medicine and past doctors that I have had. Especially after watching this (parts 1-3). I had the same experience where I went to the gynocologist as a young teenager and the only thing they do is put you on birth control. They never told me I had a hormone imbalance or that I would have trouble getting pregnant in the future. If over 10% of women have PCOS, why are doctors not more forthcoming diagnosing it? I have a lot of the symptoms! It is crazy to think that if I had known about this as a teenager, I may have been able to lose the weight I have been struggling with since I went through puberty. PCOS is related to insulin resistance and that was most likely why I gained weight. Imagine beating yourself up for years about something that you really couldn't have changed. Oh, well I can't change the past only my future.

Since I go to a naturopath I am not on a prescription drug, only a diet and excercise change and herbal supplements. I will try that for three months and if for some reason there is no change, I will probably go to a reproductive endocrinologist at that point. Right now these are the supplements I am on
DB-7 to stabilize blood sugar and glucose metabolism.
PMS Formula - to balance hormones like estrogen
Ova Blend (not sure, but something to do with reproductive system)
Fish oil
Flax seed
Pre-natal vitamin

The two that I am having a problem with are the PMS formula and flax seed because these are not in pill form. I need to find a way to add the flax seed to my foods. I will look for recipes and just start sprinkling it on my oatmeal, cereal, smoothies. The PMS formula is a tincture where I have to drink a couple droppers full. It is so nasty tasting that I don't think I will be able to do it twice a day for months. So nasty.

Please send good thoughts my way (or pray if that is your thing). I would appreciate it.

I did a little dance

2008-11-05T09:03:00.000-08:00

So this is what it feels like to be part of the majority! I cried many tears of joy last night.

San Francisco

2008-11-04T10:18:00.000-08:00

We got back from A.P.E. last night after midnight. We spent most of the day at the airport. I spent so much time getting to San Fran and leaving San Fran that I actually crocheted two hats in the time spent in the airport.

The trip was amazing. I had a lot of fun. I did hurt my foot as we walked well over 10 miles during the course of the weekend. I swear that is more than I have walked in the last year combined. Here is a google map showing some of the places we went.

View Larger Map

The Election

2008-10-30T09:36:00.000-07:00

This is only the second presidential election that I have been able to vote in. In 2000 I was only 17. In 2004, I voted for Kerry. Although I didn't feel to strongly for him, I really hated Bush's politics (still do) and wanted him out. Well ignorance won that day and Bush has taken our country further down a bad path; one where the rest of the world looks down on us, where we torture people, where we don't teach children about how their own bodies work, and where the government has taken more and more of our privacy.

I have always had good intuition about people. I know when I am being conned and lied to and alternately when someone is sincere. This election I am voting for Obama. Not only do I agree with almost all of his stances on the issues, I genuinely like him. when I see him on TV and in pictures I can tell he is actually listening while talking to people, he cares about us, he is one of us. The same goes for Joe Biden. Their eyes show joy, kindness, and empathy. I believe in them completely.

When I look at John McCain and Sarah Palin I see lies, anger, contempt, and condescension towards the American people and even towards each other. They don't believe in our country, they want to use it to gain power for themselves and their agenda. I hope and pray to the universe that more than half of the American people will not fall for their lies.

This last week I have been crying at least once a day about the election. I see pictures of Obama speaking to crowds of tens of thousands and it gives me hope for our country.

I grew up Christian; and although I don't consider myself one anymore, I know a lot about the religion and like to debate it with anyone who is willing. I read an opinion piece this morning where a hate filled Christian stated that you could not be a Christian and vote for Obama, if you vote for Obama you will go to hell. She quoted this scripture:
Barack Obama and many of his followers claim to be Christian. But Isaiah 29:13 says:

Therefore the Lord said: "Inasmuch as these people draw near with their mouths and honor Me with their lips, But have removed their hearts far from Me, And their fear toward Me is taught by the commandment of men" (Isaiah 29:13).

Funny, that is exactly how I feel about John McCain and Sarah Palin. I do not feel that they are good Christians because they seem to be angry and hate-filled all the time, they spread lies about Obama, and they don't want to protect this Earth that God gave us to be stewards of (if your Christian and believe that). If that author doesn't remember, lying is one of the ten commandments as well. You can't condemn one without condemning the others.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Animated Series

2008-10-28T08:30:00.001-07:00

Why god why did this series not get made. I would love this and would watch it, and would make Brad watch it.

source: http://theparkbencher.blogspot.com/

I just like how he's always leaning. Against stuff. He leans great.

2008-10-27T10:46:00.000-07:00

I spent most of the weekend watching the complete series of My So-Called Life. It was amazing and I cried at every episode (there are only 19 of them). I am so sad that this show wasn't on longer.

Although I of course identify with all the characters I can never remember being so scared to speak my mind the way Angela was. It took pushing from her friends to even make sure Jordan Catalano didn't just use her for making out in the boiler room. What a douche bag he was.

Don't get me wrong, I did let boys walk all over me, no doubt; but I would never have let one pretend he didn't know me in public. (unless i did this. Amber, do you remember anyone?)

something in her eye

2008-10-20T09:26:00.001-07:00

something in her eye
Originally uploaded by Matt Callahan

More like openly sobbing.

More Photos

2008-10-20T09:24:00.000-07:00

I still haven't gotten the bulk of the photos from the main photographer (she took over 1000 photos!) but here are some more from one of the other friend/photographers.

Home Sweet Home

2008-10-15T09:37:00.000-07:00

Brad and I got the keys to our new apartment on Friday (the day before the wedding) and spent our second night as a married couple there (the first night was at a hotel). I love our new apartment; the layout, the locations, the light. On Monday we bought a new couch from Macy's. This is the first couch I have ever bought from a store, previously all my couches have been hand me downs or craigslist purchases. It is also great because we do not have to move either of the old couches from our old house, we will just have the new owners pick them up from there. Here is our new couch:
Unfortunately it will not be delivered for a couple of weeks so we have no living room seating until then. We are also looking for a couple of chairs or ottomans. Ikea here we come. I am excited to actually decorate this place. I have never really hung things up on the walls of my apartments before or gotten any accesories but I really want to this time.

Mrs. D

2008-10-14T08:17:00.000-07:00

I am now married. Crazy right. It still seems so surreal. The wedding went great. It all pulled together beautifully. The wind was crazy so a lot of people left early because they couldn't handle it. I cried a lot during and right after the ceremony. There are some of the first pictures online here I will post more as they become available to me.

Uh oh

2008-10-06T10:39:00.000-07:00

Weather.com for 85281
Sat Oct 11

Isolated T-Storms

high 90°
low 61°

chance of rain 30%

Obama '08

2008-10-06T10:00:00.000-07:00

Two great things I recently read:

1. Barack Obama helped a stranger over 20 years ago. This was reported in a Norwegian newspaper (i believe it is more of a tabloid) so there are still some people wanting more fact checking and of course I don’t believe American media has picked up this story yet (it's probably not controversial enough), but it is a neat story none the less.

2. Dr Ralph Stanley is running a radio ad in Virginia endorsing Obama. You can read more about it and actually hear it here

Hopefully this ad will help to make Virginia a blue state this election!

P.S. My Outlook spell checker does not recognize Obama and wants me to change it to Osama. My spell checker must be Republican.

Hey Sarah Palin

2008-10-03T12:42:00.001-07:00

Eight Days Until the Wedding

2008-10-03T10:38:00.000-07:00

Update

Things I need to do:
* ~~make play list for CD favor, make over 100 of this CD, find way to package CDs.~~ Have packaging and am in the process of making all of these
* ~~call and reserve a margarita machine.~~ I'm not going to rent this. I am just going to have margarita's made in a punch bowl and people can pour it over ice.
* ~~get the marriage license~~ Done!
* convince wedding parties to dance a certain first dance with Brad and I (Amber had a great idea and I don't want to spoil the surprise)
* figure out who will give speeches and let them know. Still wondering about this. I know Billy and Christy will give speeches, but not sure who else.
* ~~send pictures of site to my wedding coordinator (my aunt) and worry about where tables and chairs will go~~ Done. She convince me to have a program so that adds to the list
* ~~call party rental place today to get PA system and runner.~~ Done!
* Design a program, should be easy. Take it to get printed at kinkos
* Make track listing for the cds. Take to kinkos
* Do my hair like I think I want it, take pictures
* go to Ulta and have them show me how to do my make-up, buy some new make-up
* get everything together that Brad needs to take to the site the day of (plates, cups, etc.)
* pack for the one night we will be staying in a hotel

We decided that on Sunday night, the day after the wedding, we will move our bed to the new apartment and sleep there. That way we start our new marriage in a new place and hopefully will never have roommates again (not that I don't love my current roommates!).

Also I want to mention the griddle we got. I cannot wait to use it. We are not opening any of our presents to use until we move and it is hard. I want to make a grip of pancakes on that thing.

5 Friends Uncensored

2008-10-02T08:58:00.001-07:00

great video about voting. Make sure you are registered!!!!!!

Vote No on Proposition 102

2008-10-01T11:55:00.000-07:00

I don't believe that the CONSTITUTION should be changed just so the religious right can feel good about discriminating against people who love each other and just want the same rights that we as hetero-sexual couples get. I believe the word marriage should be taken out of our government all together. Any two people who want to get a civil union should be able to get it; hetero, homo, two elderly ladies who never got married and want to share their medical, and monetary lifes. Marriages should be left up to the churches and if they choose not go give one to a same sex couple, that is fine with me, but that should have nothing to do with our government and the rights that we are refusing to give to American citizens. This proposition is not a good idea and will just perpetuate the discrimination that is going on in this country.

Warning: women bodily function talk below

2008-10-01T11:08:00.000-07:00

My period is probably the only thing that grosses Brad out. Anytime I talk about it he gets this hilarious look on his face (so of course I try to talk about it as often as possible). I am on a journey to fertility and I thought I would talk about it here. I will probably talk about my past issues with my period in another post (I know it will be hard to wait) but I just wanted to say that I think I have found a breakthrough.

I am self diagnosing myself as having PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome). I have a prescription to get a ultra-sound to confirm but I am not going to make an appointment until after the wedding so we will have to wait for that. But I have so many of the symptoms. I went off birth control in March, had a few cycles pretty normally, but then I had not had a period since June. In early September I went to the ND (naturopathic doctor) to discuss my blood test results I was told that I have very high glucose levels and that this is probably related to my infertility issues. To combat this I was told to go on a low carb/low sugar diet. I have been tentatively following this diet (not gung-ho about it yet, but I did give up soda, most fruits and fruit juices, and a lot of bread) for about three weeks and lo and behold I just got my period on Friday. That is amazing. As of right now those two things are just correlated, the new diet may not have caused me to have my period; but I am so hopeful that this will help me in so many ways that i am just ecstatic.

I learned so much from this post on mothering.com. Her story is similar to mine and I am just so excited! After the wedding I will be starting a very strict low carb/low sugar diet and see what happens then. Please send good baby thoughts my way.

p.s. for anyone wondering why it seems I can't do anything until after the wedding, well we will be moving right after the wedding and we have absolutely no money until then either. So right now we are only eating things we already have in the house. That is a lot of pasta, rice, potatoes, lentils, beans, macaroni and cheese, and tuna. Some of those things are not so good for my diet.

12 days until the Wedding

2008-09-29T09:16:00.000-07:00

Update

Things I need to do:
* ~~make play list for CD favor,~~ make over 100 of this CD, find way to package CDs. I have made the play list, now am working on making the cds.
* call and reserve a margarita machine. To be done today
* figure out what to do about makeup and hair. Have gift card to Ulta, going to go this week.
* ~~buy teeth whitening kits for Brad and I.~~ Amazon.com baby!
* get the marriage license To be done this week
* ~~get my hair cut.~~ Got it cut, not going to color it
* convince wedding parties to dance a certain first dance with Brad and I (Amber had a great idea and I don't want to spoil the surprise)
* ~~stress about the rehearsal because it is not going to be at the actual wedding site, so I guess it will be a pseudo rehearsal.~~ Sent Evites to guests, made reservation for dinner at Buca di Beppo
* figure out who will give speeches and let them know. Still wondering about this. I know Billy and Christy will give speeches, but not sure who else.
* send pictures of site to my wedding coordinator (my aunt) and worry about where tables and chairs will go
* call party rental place today to get PA system and runner.

Dang it

2008-09-26T08:56:00.001-07:00

I just found out Sigur Ros will be here on Tuesday and I have no money and it is sold out! I also missed My Morning Jacket and Vampire Weekend this week because of no money.

Also I think I am going to sell my 2001 Ford Ranger next month, so if you are interested, let me know.

**ETA** never mind, I'm not going to sell my car. Why am I so impulsive? I get an idea in my head and I have to do it now, now, now!

Like a bad Disney movie....

2008-09-25T14:10:00.001-07:00

so funny.

Wedding Update

2008-09-22T12:58:00.000-07:00

Wow, here is an update on my previous list. A lot has been done. I am a lot less stressed now that my Aunt will be the Wedding coordinator for the actual day. She is a kick ass organizer.

Things I need to do:
* ~~buy hosiery (spanx?)~~
* ~~find a cake topper~~ Found Lego Bride and Groom on ebay
* make play list for CD favor, make over 100 of this CD, find way to package CDs
* ~~find wedding mad libs for favors~~ Just bought Mad Libs In Love on Amazon.com
* ~~buy sharpies and paper for guest book pages~~
* ~~find/buy shoes with one inch heels~~ I got flip flops and blue converse
* ~~go to the party rental place to look at linens and reserve linens, tables, chairs, and perhaps lighting~~
* call and reserve a margarita machine
* figure out what to do about makeup and hair (do it myself or find someone to help me)
* ~~go to target and buy strings of garden lights that are hopefully on sale.~~
* ~~think about what to buy my bridesmaids as gifts~~ we are going to get manicure/pedicures for everyone
* ~~buy the rings~~ I got a gold band, and a tungsten carbide ring for Brad; both on Amazon.com
* ~~think about what ceremony/vows we want to use~~ From the Union by Robert Fulghum
* ~~go to a feed store to look at/buy tubs for drinks~~ my step-mom is in charge of drinks, I think she is just getting blue plastic tubs, but I will not stress about this at all. I have delegated this.
* ~~pressure groomsmen to go and get fitted for their tuxes and get their shoe sizes in order to buy them Chuck Taylors for the wedding~~ the groomsmen have been fitted and their converse shoes are on their way right now. I heard one of the groomsmen was very drunk at the time of his fitting, nice.
* ~~cry because we are not going to have pie like we envisioned, and probably not coffee either.~~ have gotten over it
* buy teeth whitening kits for Brad and I. Still need to do this, will go to Target today.
* ~~exercise every other day or so. Look into Brad joining my gym (yay exercise buddy!). Plan to continue doing this after the wedding as well.~~ yeah, not being done right now. We are too stressed to do that until after we move (where we will have an exercise room
* freak out about my horrible skin. stop picking at face (which goes against what I've always done), wash face every day. Working on this, still have many spots, damn adult acne
* get the marriage license To be done this week
* get my hair cut and colored. Appointment on Thursday for haircut
* convince wedding parties to dance a certain first dance with Brad and I (Amber had a great idea and I don't want to spoil the surprise)
* stress about the rehearsal because it is not going to be at the actual wedding site, so I guess it will be a pseudo rehearsal.
* figure out who will give speeches and let them know.

The wedding shower went very well. No one ended up spending the night or drinking because we are all old party poopers. But I got some great gifts and had fun talking to Laura, Christy, and Amber for a long time after the party was over.

Alias

2008-09-19T14:56:00.000-07:00

By this time next month I will be living in a new apartment, under a new name, and married.

This is crazy.

Low Carb

2008-09-18T09:58:00.001-07:00

I remember in 2002 I tried the Atkins diet for a few days. Sure I liked eating a lot of meat but I love carbohydrates and sugar. Which really became apparent to me last week when my doctor told me I have high glucose levels (or maybe it was insulin). The normal is between 2 and 25 and mine was at 24. Yikes! There is no way I want diabetes. I don't eat unhealthy really. I make most of my meals and try to eat a balanced diet. But I am eating too many carbs and sugars. Carbs actually turn into sugar and are very bad for people with diabetes and high glucose levels. I was looking around online for a good menu plan and found this one. Which I don't think will work for me because the normal meal they have has about 65 grams of carbs and my doctor wants me to only eat 35 grams at each meal and then 15 for snacks. But that is doable I think. Looking at that menu I can totally see cutting out the toast for breakfast (there is already oatmeal), maybe the crackers or one of the pieces of bread on the sandwich at lunch, and the roll at dinner.

I also found a great menu on the Food Network website. But that one doesn't show the grams of carbs per meal so I am not sure.

Also my doctor recommended taking a teaspoon of ground flaxseed about ten minutes before eating each meal. This really helps regulate your blood sugar, makes you feel fuller so you will eat less, and also has a lot of fiber so you will poop better. We are so poor right now though that I haven't gotten to Whole Foods to get it. But I will go shopping this Sunday and buy it and start on this diet. I have already started cutting out sugar and carbs, but I really want to have a menu planned out an not deviate from it. Wish me luck!

duh

2008-09-18T09:58:00.000-07:00

One really important thing I need to start doing is to wear an apron when I cook. It seems silly but I have so many shirts that are ruined with grease stains because i stand so close to the stovetop when I cook and I get oil spattered all over me. I don't even realize it at the time, but then I wash the shirt and wear it again and then notice in the bathroom mirror at work that I have stains on my shirt.

Basically I leave the house without even looking at my outfit in the mirror and I usually look like crap. So these things have been bouncing around in my head and I need to write them down so I don't have to think about it until after the wedding.

Things to do to revitalize my wardrobe:
1. Wear an apron or pajama type clothes while cooking
2. Go through clothes to check for holes, stains, and ill fitting things and get rid of all of those items (this will be a lot of things).
3. Buy lots of new shoes. Try Payless and Famous Footwear clearance. Not just flats, get sandals and boots.
4. Buy more skirts.
5. Buy more blouses. I don't need more t-shirts or tank tops, I need nice blouses. Try kohl's, Lane Bryant clearance, Target clearance.

Notice how I say clearance a lot. I always have trouble spending a lot on clothes, it makes me feel guilty.

Notice number four. I have just recently starting loving skirts. I never wore skirts in the past. I always go for comfort and thought I would hate being in a skirt; but I found I love knee length skirts. I have bought four new skirts in the last few months and I love them. Oooh, I can wear skirts with new boot and perhaps colored tights in the winter. That is acceptable right?

to add to the wedding stress....

2008-09-17T12:23:00.000-07:00

Now we have to move next month as well. Our lease should have been up at the end of this month, but we didn't really want to move right before the wedding; as well as our roommate didn't really have a lot of other options. But now she she does have a place to go and so we are going to be out of the house by November 2nd. The issues are that we will be out of town from 31 Oct to 2 Nov so we cannot move then; also we have no money until October 10, the day before the wedding. I believe we will be getting a place the week after the wedding and moving in those last two weeks of October. It is just scary to not have an apartment tied down yet. We have to go in the beginning of October and start applying and everything. So I am hoping that everything works out okay.

I am excited because the apartments we chose are in a great location. There is a workout room on site and within walking distance of a Walgreen's, coffee shop, art store, restaurants, and a Sunflower Market. Plus I like the apartment layouts.

Not tagged

2008-09-16T12:48:00.000-07:00

What were you doing 1 second ago?
Answering a call from Dell at work.

What were you doing an hour ago?
Eating a baked potato that was so, so yummy and too big to finish.

What were you doing yesterday?
Working late and going to get Brad sized for a ring.

What were you doing a month ago?
I'm realizing my life is boring. I was doing the same thing I am now. Working and worrying about the wedding.

What were you doing a year ago?
Going to school and moving in to our rental house.

What were you doing five years ago?
Doing illegal drugs, working at Quiznos, and dating a douche who broke up with me by just never answering his phone. nice.

What were you doing ten years ago?
I was a sophomore in high school. Already very close friends with my bestfriend/roommate that I have now. I was just about to start my first job at the local movie theater. I had just lost my virginity that summer to a guy who broke up with me by never calling me again. Wow, I dated some winners!

What do you hope to be doing five years from now?
Maybe living in a different city, or actually knowing what I want to be when I grow up; definitely will have a child or two, either naturally or by adoption.

Knock Knock

2008-09-15T16:52:00.000-07:00

knock knock...

who's there?....

September 11th....

September 11th who?....

You said you'd never forget :( .....

thanks to Billy for telling me that fantastic joke (his 32nd birthday was actually on last thursday, how would you like that for your birthday?).

33 days until the wedding

2008-09-08T09:36:00.001-07:00

The only things I did this weekend are buy hosiery and an outfit for Brad for the rehearsal dinner. He had no khaki pants and only has like one dress shirt. I accidentally bought a really long shirt for him that was made for tucking in. I think it will still work, but we are not "tucking in" kind of people. Brad didn't even go with me, he totally trusts me to buy clothes he will like, it is awesome.

This weekend was pretty fun. Friday night Brad and I went to First Friday (a monthly art walk) with Brandon and Amy*. We went to an amazing restaurant, MacAlpine's, which is a soda shop/ antique store that has been open since the twenties. They we went to the Phoenix Art Museum (which I had never been to) and heard an awesome band, Colorstore, one of the members was playing a saw with a bow, it sounded amazing (whoa, I just found out they are playing with our friends' band Japanese Monsters at the Yucca Tap Room soon, yay!). Then we walked around to all the galleries and handed out fliers for an upcoming show that Brandon and Brad are playing at. I got a snow cone, we walked a lot, and it was really hot.

Saturday night we went to a house show in the middle of the desert which was a fundraiser for our friend Chris Knight. He is a long-time friend of Brad's and he will be having a kidney transplant done in a few weeks. He is in full kidney failure right now and has dialysis done every other day. This is a young man who is only in his mid-twenties and just got married last year and has a baby on the way. Thankfully and amazingly enough, he is getting his new kidney from his Mother-in-law. I get teary eyed just thinking about her generosity. I am just so happy that we were able to raise over $800 for his growing family this weekend. If anyone would like to donate money just let me know and I can get the info to you. The night was super fun. Especially when our friend Robin got drunk and started hitting on our married friend Christy. Robin is one of our youngest friends at 23 and Christy is only 28. His best pick up line ever, "You are so sexy, no matter how old you are. I want to take you out to Garcia's" Brad laughed until he cried. So funny.

Sunday, Brad was hungover and we didn't leave the house. Amber made Red Velvet cupcakes with cream cheese icing. God were they good! I had never had Red Velvet cake and I really like it. Amber is going to be making all the cupcakes for the wedding. Brad and I also watched a Buffy disc from Netflix (season 3 disc 1). Great weekend.

Two weeks until my shower, five wees until the wedding

* Brandon and Brad make comics together. Brandon makes comics on his own but he also writes stories and then Brad draws the comic. Brandon and Amy are very similar to Brad and I. On their latest comics, their bios each go something like this;
"Brandon lives and works in Phoenix, Az. He lives with his soon to be wife Amy and their two cats Fruits and Vegetables."
"Brad lives and works in Tempe, Az. He lives with his soon to be wife Shannon and their two cats Beans and Rice."

Word.

2008-09-05T13:08:00.000-07:00

I love all that is John Stewart

not to mention Stephen Colbert. I had a racy dream about him this week. Of course in my dream he felt really bad for making out with me because he is married.

Stressville

2008-09-05T09:46:00.000-07:00

So I had my third stress out yesterday of this wedding planning experience. I was crying and probably really freaking Brad out. I am really starting to stress out. There is so much to do and there is only a month left to do it. I am sad because I am not doing a lot of the stuff I had always envisioned but it is because I am lazy and don't want to have to figure it out, set it up, or even delegate it. I always wanted a wedding that was very different than the norm, but I'm finding that it is really hard to go against the grain when it comes to wedding shit. My mom is even against some of the stuff I wanted. At least I have complete control over the music. I just had to cut down the 13 hours of music I had picked to only about 6 hours. It was hard. And I still need to add some Michael Jackson songs (Christy I need these songs from you!)

I just feel lost in this wedding world. I feel like everyone assumes I know what to do, but I don't. I have only gone to three weddings as an adult and two of them were at the same house and none of them were of really close friends. So I have never been involved in wedding planning before, I have never been a bridesmaid, I have no idea what I am doing or what people expect at a wedding. People keep telling me, "oh, you have to have this or that, people expect it!" That pisses me off. I don't care what people expect, the only thing they should be there for is to see me get married, anything else is extra. I am not having two meat choices, I am not having a garter (creepy), I will not play cliched wedding songs (fuck "we are family"), I will not have a ceremony that brings up God at all (much to the chagrin of my father), I am not having cake, I am having alcohol (much to the chagrin of my father), my Mother is walking me down the aisle, my Father is the officiant (he is a minister). Things I wanted to do differently but am not: I wanted pie, I wanted a photo booth, I wanted a candy bar, I wanted a lego cake topper, I wanted a vintage non-white retro party dress...

Things I need to do:
* buy hosiery (spanx?)
* find a cake topper
* make play list for CD favor, make over 100 of this CD, find way to package CDs
* find wedding mad libs for favors
* buy sharpies and paper for guest book pages
* find/buy shoes with one inch heels
* go to the party rental place to look at linens and reserve linens, tables, chairs, and perhaps lighting
* call and reserve a margarita machine
* figure out what to do about makeup and hair (do it myself or find someone to help me)
* go to target and buy strings of garden lights that are hopefully on sale.
* think about what to buy my bridesmaids as gifts
* buy the rings
* think about what ceremony/vows we want to use
* go to a feed store to look at/buy tubs for drinks
* pressure groomsmen to go and get fitted for their tuxes and get their shoe sizes in order to buy them Chuck Taylors for the wedding
* cry because we are not going to have pie like we envisioned, and probably not coffee either.
* buy teeth whitening kits for Brad and I
* exercise every other day or so. Look into Brad joining my gym (yay exercise buddy!). Plan to continue doing this after the wedding as well.
* freak out about my horrible skin. stop picking at face (which goes against what I've always done), wash face every day.
* get the marriage license
* get my hair cut and colored
* convince wedding parties to dance a certain first dance with Brad and I (Amber had a great idea and I don't want to spoil the surprise)
* stress about the rehearsal because it is not going to be at the actual wedding site, so I guess it will be a pseudo rehearsal.
* figure out who will give speeches and let them know.

Sarah Palin

2008-09-03T12:00:00.001-07:00

no, no, no, no, no.... I guess I'm glad McCain picked her because I hope it will hurt his campaign, but if they win; holy shit I do not want them in office. She is an anti choice, anti gay, anti sex education, and pro book banning. I congratulate her on her new baby and her daughter's baby on the way, but I know if I had a baby especially at a younger age, my mom would probably be helping me a lot. Is she going to have time for her growing family if she becomes the vice president? Many say this is sexist, but there is one area where men and women are unequal; we can give birth, we can sustain our children with our breasts, her husband can't do that. Just the fact that she would want to go back to work three days after giving birth makes me not want to vote for her.

Total Darkness

2008-09-02T10:08:00.000-07:00

Well I didn't get picked for a jury. I didn't even get picked to go into a courtroom. I just sat there for hours, went and ate at the potluck in my Mom's office (she works in the same building as where the potential jurors congregate), read a book and and three quarters of another one. Oh well, maybe next time.

Thursday night we had a huge storm here in Phoenix. I was at a show at the Trunk Space to see the band Andrew Jackson Jihad. The sky was so full of lightning; seriously there was another strike about every three seconds. I counted and I took a video of it (I will post it if I can figure out how to do so). That lasted for a couple of hours. Then all of a sudden it got really windy really fast and started raining super hard. I was out in it for just a few minutes and was covered in grit and grime. See when it is windy in Phoenix you get lots of dust and then mixed with the rain it is basically mud, all over me. Gross.

So then the power went out; thankfully Andrew Jackson Jihad is an acoustic band because they still played in the complete darkness and everyone sang along. It was an amazing experience. I couldn't even see Brad standing next to me it was so dark; I had to keep reaching out to make sure he was there. I took a video of one of their songs, even though it is really just audio because you can't see anything. I will attempt to post that one too.

On a completely sad tangent; Brad and I were watching Animal Cops Detroit last night and and they mentioned how animals are involved in shootings and murder cases nowadays; and I brought up how my family got my Grandma's dog after my Grandma was shot by her boyfriend and the dog was deaf because she had been very near the gun when it went off. Brad was so surprised because he says he never knew my Grandma was murdered (well she was taken off of life support at a later date, that still counts as murder right?); although I swear I must have told Brad before, he claims I never did. It is weird to know that there could be this huge story that he didn't know about. It is not something that comes up a lot and I was only about 10 when it happened so I do not have a lot of memory of the events surrounding it and I didn't get to go to the funeral because it was in Hawaii. But I have definitely talked about her before and assumed he knew what had happened. It is very crazy.

Jury Duty

2008-08-26T10:51:00.001-07:00

I finally have Jury Duty this Thursday. I have always wanted to do this. I still have to call on Wednesday afternoon to make sure I actually have to go in, so wish me luck. I actually squealed when I found out, I really am excited.

To get ready for it, I watched 12 Angry Men. I had never seen it and it was amazing. I love how you don't know any of their names and they don't show any of the trial. The one racist dude kept going on and on about "those people" but I didn't know what people he meant. They show the defendant in the beginning and I think maybe he was Italian or Puerto Rican but I couldn't quite tell. The only reason I would guess Puerto Rican is because of West Side Story and the issue the "Native" New Yorkers had with the immigrants. Most of my historical New York history knowledge is based from movies, sad isn't it?

After 12 Angry Men, I had to put on To Kill A Mockingbird, which is one of my most favorite movies. The name Harper (from the author Harper Lee)is definitely in the top running as the name for a future daughter. I love Gregory Peck in this movie and to a lesser extent Robert Duvall. I always wanted Atticus Finch to be my father. I cry in the courthouse scene every time.