Tuesday, May 18, 2010

hurry before she wakes up....

Here is the latest picture of Kennedy, taken about an hour ago. Right before she got really mad at me for taking too long to feed her. Motherhood is pretty awesome. It is definitely easier because she is starting to give back. It is pretty frustrating to continually feed, diaper, and console a little being who doesn't even make eye contact with you, as it is in the first few weeks. But now that she is seven weeks old, she smiles, looks at me, and even caresses me a lot with her tiny hands. It makes you feel loved, and so the other stuff becomes even easier to do.

The major thing that is awesome, she sleeps 6-8 hours straight every night. I know I am very very lucky and I am probably jinxing myself by putting this out there. She eats a lot then falls asleep between 8-10 and then sleeps until 3-5. Then she wakes up, I feed her a little and then just me and her sleep for another couple of hours in bed together, because Brad leaves for work by then. She is sleeping in her co-sleeper at night now, but naps in the bed. She was sleeping in between us in bed for awhile, but it was just too uncomfortable for me. I was never afraid of rolling over on her, but I just didn't sleep very well and I missed having Brad right next to me. When she grows out of the cosleeper we will probably bring her in bed with us again, but we will push the bed against the wall and put her next to the wall, then me, then Brad.

The hardest part of all of this is being a stay at home mom and not having any other sahm friends. I go weeks without seeing anyone but my baby, husband and mom. I will go to the library and target just to get out of the house. I am super lonely. Logically I know I can't blame my friends, because I am not really calling them either, but I definitely feel like a leper that no one wants to hang out with. I am starting to make a real effort though.

Saturday night I took my baby to a bar.... well actually just the parking lot of a bar. Brad decided to go see a show where a few bands were playing. I drove him there and hung out for a bit in the parking lot, introducing Kennedy to some friends who haven't met her yet. I felt like I was exuding, "Talk to me, I need human interaction!!!!!" Then today we are having a bbq at our house, with my sister's friends. And I want to go to this group at the library; it meets every Friday morning and it is for babies 0-24 months. I also plan on starting to hula hoop, I wanted to go to the local group meeting on Sunday but Brad worked and my Mom is out of town, so I had to stay home with Kennedy. Then this weekend there is a party on Friday night, and a show on Saturday night that I plan on going to with Kennedy. And I will start actually calling (ok, texting) my friends and trying to make plans. Also I go back to school at the end of June so that will give me a daily fix of socializing then.