I joined a gym today! I am so happy that I am actually working towards something that I have wanted for years. Anyone can tell that I am overweight, but I don't think it looks like I am extremely obese. Thankfully my fat deposits evenly over my whole body and I look completely symmetrical. I still have an hourglass figure and a smaller weight so I think that detracts from me looking completely fat.
Or I could just be deluding myself and I actually do look totally obese and no one has ever told me.
Ever since high school Amber and I have always been, "next summer we will be in bikinis!" But we never reached that goal. This time I want to strive for smaller goals so that each time I reach it, I feel great. Right now I would be ecstatic to be back in a size 16. My mom, who has lost weight recently, said to reward yourself after each 10 lbs. I will definitely be doing that.
I remember hearing Dr. Drew, from Loveline, comment that the #1 reason people finally decide to lose weight is because they felt disgusted with themselves. I am at that point. I am disgusted by my body and my lack of energy and my low self confidence.
Deep down I am an out going person but I don't show it because I am afraid of being judged because of my body. I want to be confident and strong (literally) and I want my outer beauty to match what I am on the inside.
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