Free Time

I hope you can see this and can tell what it is. It is made out of pretzels in 7th grade, during Home Ec. I actually bit all of them into those shapes and then glued them onto this paper. I just had to throw it away because the pretzels were starting to disintegrate.

I told some of my friends about this and how I kept messing up and ate way too many pretzels. It was very thirsty work. My friend said he could picture me furiously biting pretzels saying, “God, I’m so thirsty but I just love Smashing Pumpkins so much!!!!!”

Tidings of Joy

This picture is a little dark but I just had to share it. My cats love my bra, they always hide in it. In this particular picture, I was getting ready for bed and threw my clothes onto my sleeping kitty. Instead of getting up and moving, she just snuggled up. And she is looking directly at the camera. You just can't get much cuter than that.

I hope everyone had a good Holiday. I had a great time with family and good food. Brad got me hand held tape recorder to record my verbal lists and ideas, and Super Mario Bros. for Nintendo DS, which I haven't been able to put down. I got a new tent from my Mom, so now I actually have to go camping instead of just wishing I could. My dad got me a big travel crock-pot which I love. I have already made beans in it. I will definitely use it more, now that Yami has moved in with us.

Yami is Brad's best friend and a great guy. I'm glad we had the room (and needed the extra income) for him. He eats way too much Top Ramen, so I am looking forward to turning him on to fresh ingrediants and cooking for another person. He also has a 16 month old daughter that will visit sometimes and I am looking forward to that.

Holidays

Well my camera is missing at the moment so I can't bring you pictures of my current crafts. By missing I mean, I haven't even looked for it and it is in a pile of stuff on my dining room table.

Here is a cute holiday survey that I found on Knitting Iris:

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? I love both, but Hot Chocolate I can drink anytime I feel cold, but I love me some egg nog during the holidays.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree? Growing up, wrapped. I think when I start my own traditions, I

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Well growing up they were always colored. This year my own tree is colored because the lights were free. But I may have to change next year to all white lights. My mom got a new tree this year and all the lights are white and I like that better because you can see the ornaments better.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? No, though it would be fun!

5. When do you put your decorations up? Sometime during the weekend after Thanks

6. What is your favorite holiday dish? Well I can't choose, I adore food. Probably cookies, all kinds. Amber's Molasses cookies.

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? Well I remember when my sister and I would lay in bed with my Mom and could not go to sleep, we were just too excited to see Santa. So we would close our eyes just to pretend to be asleep, but then we would actually fall asleep.

8 . When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? My parents used the same wrapping paper for

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Yes. Always.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? Well beggars can't be choosers. This is my first year having my own tree and all I have are hand me down colored lights and no ornaments (my cats like 5 of them before I just took them down). I think next year (if I have more money) I will make some of my own and use white lights.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? I dream about having a white Christmas, but I don't know if I could handle it. I don't have any memory of being somewhere while it was snowing. I have been in snow, after it is on the ground but never seen it snowing. I live in Phoenix, Arizona.

12. Can you ice skate? Yes, but I have only been twice at a skating rink

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Not really.

14. What's your favorite thing(s) about the holidays? Sitting in front of the fire, listening to Christmas music, being with my friends and family.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert? Cookies

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Decorating the tree with my mom.

17. What tops your tree? A hand me down Angel from my mom (not a keepsake), but I think I will change to a star next year.

18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving? I like giving. One thing I don't like about the Holidays in my family is that my parents ask me what specifically I want. So then when I get it on Christmas day it is not a surprise. I wish we could all get to know each other better so that they would know me well enough to know what to get me. I like gifts better when there is love and though put into them.

19. What is your favorite Christmas song? Last Christmas-Wham or Baby, It's cold outside or The Christmas Song, or....ok, pretty much all of them.

20. What is your favorite holiday book? I don't think I have one. Just another tradition I will have to start when I have kids.

21. Candy canes yuck or yum? They are yummy but I can only have like one a season, or I get sick of them.

21. What's number one on your Christmas list this year? An Ipod, which I am getting handed down from Amber. A mixer for my kitchen, a Mr. Bento, knitting supplies.

To Come

Look forward this weekend to pictures of some finished crafts and a mind numbingly cute picture of my cat.

Quiet

I really enjoy Christmas time. But it has just not kicked it completely. I kept trying to chase it by watching Christmas movies like, The Grinch, Miracle on 34th Street, and A Charlie Brown Christmas. But nothing was working.

I have been bombarded with TV the last few months. I was have been pulled thin between work and school and when I get home, I would just veg in front of the TV for hours at a time. Thankfully school ended for the winter break this week and I already feel the difference.

We went to the library, I actually got my sewing machine fixed, I have been knitting and I pulled out my lonely quilt that has not been worked on for at least 6 months. I have been doing crafts without the TV on and with the Christmas tree lit. This makes me stop and think about the feeling I want for Christmas, and I am actually starting to feel it.

This weekend will seal the deal because I am going to my Mom's to sit in front of the fire, knit, and think about the spirit of Christmas.

Parenting

I hope to have children someday, but the more I think about it the more scared I become. I have only recently started to be around babies. I never babysat or was around young children. Thanks to SouleMama, I have a jumping off point.
She recommended this book, You are your Child's First Teacher, by Rahima Baldwin Dancy
It is very easy to read and is teaching me a lot. I don't know much about the Waldorf Education philosophy, I think it is more a homeschooling thing, but I'm not sure. This book is just my jumping off point for research, so any ideas would be helpful.

Jive Turkey

Ok, I really am probably the last person to see this:

http://www.gizoogle.com/

Check it out. If you can't think of a website to translate, use mine URL.

So funny

Veggie Eater!

Brittney posted about becoming a vegan and there is a discussion of it over here. I completely support anyone's choice to do that. I am just going to post some of my thoughts and choices.

I have never been a vegetarian. Brad and I have thought of doing it, but it is hard to start something you have never been exposed to and wouldn't even know where to start.

If I were to become a vegan/vegetarian, I would do it specifically because of the mistreatment of animals. I did not know some of the things that Brittney mentioned in her original post and I hope to read that book soon.

Now that I know some of the options that are out there, I don't think I will become a vegan/vegetarian; I will buy local/organic/free range. I do not see a problem with eating meat; I like meat and I feel I even crave it sometimes. I think it is the natural order of things, the "circle of life" if you will. I know that I am the top of the food chain and that when I die, I will feed the earth and other animals. I do not want to contribute to a industry that I do not agree with. That is the same reason I don't like to shop at Wal-Mart.

But you know what, right now I am not eating organic and shopping at Wal-Mart; and the reason is because I am poor. Since Brad and I started going to school again full time we only work part time and the student aid is just not covering it all. I don't even have the two extra dollars to buy free range eggs.

I think this is the situation that a lot of America is in. Even if you show them the truth about farming practices, they cannot change the way they eat because there is not enough money. It is hard enough to eat healthy with no money. I do buy fresh fruits and veggies instead of canned but it is pushing my budget limits. The choice of whether or not to buy free range organic beef instead of normal ground beef does not even enter the equation. I don't have the luxury of choice right now. But I look forward to the day when I can stop feeling guilty every time I eat and stop living paycheck to paycheck.

Young Folks

By Peter Bjorn and John.

Wow, I adore this song. Here is a list
Clapping
Xylophone
harmonies
Whistling
synchronized dancing
Duet (girl and guy)

If a song (or video) has one, or many, of these features, there is a %90 chance I will like it. When it comes to the singing voice of a band I can't really describe what I like.
Bands who's voice I like:
The Knife
Camera Obscura
Peter Bjorn and John
Tilly and the Wall
Bjork
Arcade Fire

I can only think of one band right now that I don't like, only because of the voice: Death Cab for Cutie. I should love them, but I just don't like the lead singer's voice.

If I could give you one piece of advice, check out Camera Obscura. They are amazing!

Weak

So, I have been going to the gym. At least 4 times a week. For joining my gym, I got two personal training sessions. I went to my first one yesterday. Ouch! I guess when I was working out on my own I was not pushing myself hard enough. After he was done with me I could barely life my arms. He pushed my so hard that my face started twitching as I tried to get those weights up just one more time.

There is something that annoys me that I have run into with two different trainers I've talked to there: the meal replacement pushing. I try to eat natural foods as much as possible. I know calories are king, but I still think its better to eat 500 calories worth of strawberries than 300 calories worth of pork rinds. My body knows how to digest natural foods better and I will get more nutrients. The trainer didn't seem to care and just kept telling me to buy meal replacement shakes. Not going to happen.

I don't think I've really lost any weight, but I do feel a shift in the way my fat is proportioned and my confidence is already greater. I am feeling great!

Why you gotta be hatin'?

Reading Dooce.com is what got me into reading blogs, I became obsessed with reading her archives so that I could get up to date. It was amazing to watch her go from a single girl in LA to having a baby with a great guy. I don't think there has been one post I have not liked. Her writing can be hilarious and touching in the same post.

I never knew there was such dooce haters out there. I know from her posts that some unintelligent people have sent more than a few mean emails, but I never knew that there were other bloggers who did.

She is going through something hard and deserves support. If you don't like her, why do you know so much about her life? Have you been secretly reading her blog? When I find a blog I don't enjoy, I stop reading it. And that's it.

P.S. Leave Leta out of it.

UPDATE:
To give background on what I am talking about, see the original Dooce post and then some of the backlash.

Fatty McFatterson

I joined a gym today! I am so happy that I am actually working towards something that I have wanted for years. Anyone can tell that I am overweight, but I don't think it looks like I am extremely obese. Thankfully my fat deposits evenly over my whole body and I look completely symmetrical. I still have an hourglass figure and a smaller weight so I think that detracts from me looking completely fat.

Or I could just be deluding myself and I actually do look totally obese and no one has ever told me.

Ever since high school Amber and I have always been, "next summer we will be in bikinis!" But we never reached that goal. This time I want to strive for smaller goals so that each time I reach it, I feel great. Right now I would be ecstatic to be back in a size 16. My mom, who has lost weight recently, said to reward yourself after each 10 lbs. I will definitely be doing that.

I remember hearing Dr. Drew, from Loveline, comment that the #1 reason people finally decide to lose weight is because they felt disgusted with themselves. I am at that point. I am disgusted by my body and my lack of energy and my low self confidence.

Deep down I am an out going person but I don't show it because I am afraid of being judged because of my body. I want to be confident and strong (literally) and I want my outer beauty to match what I am on the inside.

Yes, I watch TV

I watch too much TV.
Before last season, I didn't really watch too much primetime TV. That was because I worked at night, but now that all my nights are open I can't help but sit my butt on the couch and not move for a couple of hours. Well as most other people know, the new shows start this week and I am very excited.
Mostly for The Office, CSI, Grey's Anatomy and Lost. Those are the main shows I watch. I am also willing to try out the new shows. Last night was The Class and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.
The Class was not that good. The best part was Lizzy Caplan, her mean quips brought some much comic relief. But really, that was the only good part. Skip it.
Studio 60 on the other hand was amazingly good. It was created by Alan Sorkin, who also created The West Wing. It has that same West Wing feeling, fast paced and great jokes. The characters are already great and i love Matthew Perry, Bradley Whitford, and Timothy Busfield(hello, thirtysomething!). I am so excited to see where this goes.

Debbie Downer

If this doesn't make you laugh, I'm not sure we should know each other.

Beautiful

Wow, this is great.

Dawn Saves the Trees--with Zach Braff

God, I am being annoying with all the videos. Sarah B's post made me search youtube for The Baby-Sitter's Club and I found this gem. I completely remember this.

Kids Incorporated

Kids Incorporated 1991 Theme Song

This is the Kids Inc. I used to watch. I saw some of the Fergie ones, but mostly my girl was Love Hewitt. But watching this now, who knew that Eric Balfour was on here. You might remember him from Six Feet Under as Claire's crazy boyfriend or the first episode of Buffy as the first friend to get killed and become a vampire.

Oak Ridge Boys Elvira

Now, I only heard this song for the first time like six months ago, and I lurv it. The bass makes me smile every time. I don't know how someone can make their voice go so so low. Also the lead singer looks like the guy from Hall and Oates. Enjoy. Your Welcome.

Dr Bunsen Honeydew

I don't know if I've shared this before, but Brad bears a resemblance to a certain muppet:



Of course some alteration to the "action figure" was requried.

New Apartment

I haven't had time to write about my new apartment, and I still don't have the time right now! But it is all I imagined it would be. It feels huge and has a lot of natural light. Our cat, Merlin, loves it. He is actually my sister's cat and she is going to take him back next week. I might have to cry about that. He is the best cat I have ever had. He loves to cuddle and play and he looks like a lion (with crossed eyes).
So now I am on the look out for a new kitten. I am actually looking for two new kittens. I adore kittens so much, I want to stick their little heads in my mouth!

ANTS

I have lived in my apartment less than a week and I already have ants! I haven't seen bugs for like three years so i was really creeped out by them. When I used to live in Ahwatukee (suburb of Phoenix) our apartment was backed up into a foothill so there were always cockroaches and scorpions around. But since I moved from there I haven't seen any bugs inside.

A few days ago I saw two ants crawling on the wall, killed them and thought, eh? But then two days ago, Brad poured a bowl of cereal and they were covered in ants. Thankfully I was still sleeping and didn't have to witness that. Still, I had not seen any during the day time. Then last night after going to bed, I got up to get a glass of water, turned on the kitchen light and there were like 15 ants crawling on the kitchen wall.

They startedd scattering, I grabbed some spray cleaner and paper towels and proceeded to kill as many as possible. I think they are coming in/living behind the cabinets. Of course the cabinets that I decided to keep our FOOD IN! I had dreams about this last night, it was not fun. My skin is crawling just thinking about this. Thankfully a sprayer guy is coming today to get rid of them.

I don't like killing insects, but for a really crazy reason. I am always scared that their friends are going to stalk me and attack me while I'm sleeping.

This is similar to the fear I had as a child when it came to my dolls and stuffed animals. I always kept them upright, face up, and talked nice to them. I didn't want them to be mad at me and come to life at night and attack me. I still can't sleep with the closet door open. Seriously. Crazy.

Notes

I have been reading this blog for a while. Sarah B. and her roommate started the original Cringe in New York. It is a monthly event where people get together at a bar and read from their old diaries and journals. As I can only imagine from my writing at that time, it must be hilarious. They just did a piece about it on Friday's Nightline, you can see it here.

Seeing as I was supposed to be unpacking yesterday, I of course got sidetracked and started reading notes from high school. I have saved most of the notes I received from friends and boyfriends from like 7th grade on. There are some decorated with swirly vines and flowers and some folded into paper footballs. It is so funny reading them, because I left a lot of stuff out of my journals and it fills in some of the gaps. But what I would love to read is the notes I sent in reply. That would be entertaining.

You know what's kinda sad, kids probably don't even write notes to each other any more, they just text message each other.

Moving Day

I get my new apartment today! I will post new pics as soon as we get the computer hooked up. Have a great weekend!

Dirty Briefs

In high school I worked at Target. One night while working in the men’s department I took a call from a man looking for underwear. He kept asking me things like,

“What kinds do you have? What colors?” I don’t know if I was naive or what but I kept going on,

“Oh, we have boxers, jockeys, briefs, and boxer-briefs. They come in many colors; white, black, maroon.” Then he started breathing weird and asked me about my underwear. I finally caught on and hung up. By that point in my life I was no virgin, but I really didn’t get what was going on until the end of the conversation. I was shocked, but oddly flattered. That sure did help to raise my self-esteem.

Saved by the Bell

Yes, I know all the words.

The Hills

Yes, I watch MTV sometimes. Usually it is just the reality shows about really rich people who think they are cool; like Super Sweet 16, Laguna Beach, and now The Hills.

I was watching The Hills the other day and Brad would not believe me that it was a reality show. The cinemetography is so amazing that it looks like a movie or at least a scripted show.

What I can't believe is that Heidi got that job as an assistant and then couldn't handle it when she had to get her boss a sandwich or stuff envelopes. She thought she would go straight to hanging out with Stars! Btw, who pays these kids rent?

A friend of a friend

I don't really talk bad about people on here, so hopefully this doesn't bite me on my ass.

This weekend, the topic of Dane Cook came up between a friend and me. I said that he was very funny and, seeing as he has over 1 million myspace friends, many other people think so too. So my friend told me that this acquaintance of ours said something to the effect of, “Only jocks like Dane Cook, you can’t be in our scene if you like Dane Cook. He is only funny because he talks loud.” I am definitely paraphrasing here. When I first saw a Dane Cook DVD like 3 years ago, I laughed out loud. His topics related to me, as I’m sure it did with others my age. He talked about things most had experienced as child; communion, not talking to strangers, the Kool-aid guy busting through the wall, and the Speak and Spell that talked like the devil.

By “our scene” he meant the local punk rock scene because Brad and all of his friends are in local bands. Now, I really don’t consider most of the people we know to be punks, ourselves included. That is just the sound of their music and semi-lifestyle. Although I have been known to poke fun at the bro-dude jocks with their pink polo shirts and way too much testosterone, I never believe that they are all like that or that just because someone is dressed a certain way that they only like certain things. It really gets to me when people comment about their own group of friends and what they should and should not like. I think it is bull-shit to generalize like that. It is like saying everyone in our group must wear all-stars or must like The Ramones. It reminded me of when this hipster girl I knew said that she didn’t listen to a band she liked because they had become too famous. That is crap.

I think the definition of being cool is to like what you like, popular or not, and go with it. I always thought of true punks being a group that accepted anyone who didn’t fit the mold. You don’t have to have torn jeans, patches and an anarchist to be a punk. I wasn’t sure of this guy before, and now I definitely don’t appreciate his opinions. Next time he is around, I will have to put on my Spice Girls cd and wait for him to berate me for not being true to the "scene".

Job Hunt

I still don't know where I will be working this semester. I have to go down to working part time because of starting school full time, and my current job doesn't offer it. I have given my notice and my last day here will be August 18th. I work in a call center for a shipping company and have worked here for three years. I have worked here longer than any other place and it is my highest paying job. I am not looking forward to going back to $8-$10 dollars an hour. But it will be nice not have the stress.

I wouldn't mind working at Target, but I burned that bridge back in high school when I quit without telling them. I absolutely loved working at Target. I worked in Soft Lines, which is the clothing side of it. I didn't have to deal with a lot of customers and I did what I love to do all day; organize. I go to Target now and see that the clearance racks look like crap. There is no organization at all, not by size or style. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Who ever I am shopping with at the time has to stop me from straightening things up. I swear it is a sickness. Don't even ask me if I color code my closet.

Realistically, I am hoping to get a job either at Barnes & Noble or the local Public Library. Lets hope my crazy luck with jobs continue. I have had like two interviews in my life. I have always just been in the right place at the right time and jobs just come flying at me.

Movin' on up

We are moving in two weeks and I am very excited. Last year when I moved out of my Mom's I could fit everything in my Ford Ranger. I had a twin bed, a dresser, bedside table, a bookshelf full of books, a couple of boxes of memories, one lamp, and two bags of clothes. Now after living with Brad for a year we have three times that, enough to completely fill a two bedroom apartment.

Right now our apartment is in a great location, but it has no patio, no W&D, and no pets allowed. It is also very dark, since we have to keep the blinds closed to hide our illegal kitty. Since our rent was going to raise to $650 we decided to find something better because it wouldn't be that much more expensive. There didn't seem to be much left in Tempe that wasn't turning in to condos or that actually had a washer/dryer, but we actually found a place. It is a place where we already have friends that live there, and we are actually going to be only a building away from them.

We get 100 more square feet, another bathroom, a washer/dryer, a patio, kitty friendly, more sunshine, and about 200 feet away from a grocery store and a Target. This is all for $100 more a month and only a couple miles from our old place. Since I've seen the layout I have been dreaming of the furniture arrangments. I am looking forward to this fall when all the windows will be open, the sun streaming in, a breeze blowing through the house, me reading on the couch eating grapes and my cats (we hope to get another one) bird watching in the windows.

This will be the first place that Brad and me have lived in without a roommate, even though the roommate has been gone for 10 months. I am excited to start building a home with Brad. I am thankful for hand me down dishes and furniture, but i want to start buying things that are not just good for right now and more good for the long haul.

Happy Birthday Candace!

Candace8
Originally uploaded by flyabuv.

Tomorrow is my sister's 21st birthday. To celebrate (humiliate), I decided to post baby pictures of her on the internet. This will prove how much I lurv her. Have fun Candace, but not too much!

Top Ramen

Today I burnt my thumb while making Top Ramen in the microwave at work. I feel a little stupid since I have been making this since I was 8, but I never use the microwave to make it so I was caught off guard.

I think there are two types of people, the ones who microwave and don't measure the water while making top ramen and the ones that actually follow the directions. I am in the latter camp. Every time I think I can just fill up the pan until it looks right, I get scared.

"What if it is too salty or too watered down?!"

So I get out the measuring cup and put in two cups of water and wait for it to boil and then put the noodles in (half crushed up). Then about two minutes later I take it off the heat and add the seasoning. I think that one reason I get worried about the broth is because I actually like the broth. I think those people are weird who pour it out.

Intead of going through the anxiety, now I just let Brad make it, he uses the stove but doesn't measure out the water or wait for it to boil before putting in the noodles, but it always tastes great. Lately we have even been pouring out some of the broth and adding tomato juice. Try it, it's good!

p.p.s. I can't believe I just posted about Top Ramen

Ryan Gosling & Rachel McAdams - VMA kiss

Have I ever told you how much I love The Notebook? Or that much to Brad's dislike, I can watch it over and over again, and cry every time? I am in love with Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams, their characters in the movie, and the fact that they are together in real life.

Side Note: I cannot believe their kiss was compared to those other shitty ones! I could totally tell that Jennifer Garner was not into the girl on girl thing.

Shape Up!

So, I have a subscription to SHAPE magazine. Don't ask me why, I do nothing other than look through it, think about getting up to exercise, and then turn House Hunters. But this last month's issue had a great idea that I thought I should mention.

I know everyone likes to watch tv or listen to music while exercising, but one SHAPE success story mentioned how she always listened to books on her Ipod. That is something I could get into. Unless it is something I can continously sing too, I lose interest in listening to music while exercising. But concentrating on a book's plot would keep me from looking at the clock every 15 seconds.

So that's it, I need and Ipod and I will be skinny! Amber, we will be able to wear bikinis next summer like we've been promising for 8 years!

Mr. Barnes

When we are at the grocery store and I scan my Safeway Club card, but then Brad pays, they always call him Mr. Barnes. Then we look at each other akwardly because we don't know if we should correct them, because they really don't care. I find it kind of endearing, only because I think it makes Brad feel weird.

I have to do that at my job on the phone, anyone that calls you must get their name and use it in the following sentence. I hate it though because when I call in somewhere and they say, "How can i help you Ms. Barnes" I get very annoyed. You don't know me, stop saying my name!!!!!! So I get uneasy because I have to use people's names while talking to them. I am scared that I will make a mistake and call a woman sir, or vice versa.

btw if you don't know me it might help to tell you that my last name is Barnes, but Brad's is not.

Note to Self

Shannon, why did you go to the mall yesterday? Do you not remember the last time you were there? You started crying because it was raining, and there were so many cars, and you could not find a parking place. Then Brad got frustrated and started getting angry. That is what happens, you see. When girls get frustrated they cry, but boys get angry and spit when they talk.

But yesterday you actually did find a place to park outside of Ross, you went and ate at Sbarro's and it was pretty good. But you only went there because you were going to go see Pirate's of the Carribbean: Dead Man's Chest, which you don't even want to see that much but it is the only thing playing that you are willing to see. There is no way you are going to see Garfield 2: A Tale of Two Kitties, you didn't even see the first one.

So you finished eating and went to buy tickets and they were sold out! So you went to Old Navy and spent money you don't have. The only redeeming thing about the trip is that you got a little exercise. Basically you wasted two hours circumventing all the hood/mall rats.

You are never to go to the mall ever again on a weekend. EVER!!!

The most beautiful games

I used to play these games all the time a few years ago, and I cam across them again at Defective Yeti. They are the prettiest games I have ever seen. You will know what I mean....

http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/

Very Smart, but time consuming

http://www.defectiveyeti.com/archives/000129.html

This is a link showing a link to something amazing. I love kitties!

Teen Witch

Wow. I love this movie.

Pandora's Box

My best friend Amber's boyfriend Marc wants to name his future daughter Pandora, which to me just brings up many, many jokes about her box. But here is a good Pandora:

www.pandora.com

It is a place to creat your own radio station. You tell them what you like and that's what it plays. It is pretty much like Yahoo Launch Radio, but this has really good audio quality and no skipping which is what i always had a problem with on Yahoo. Check it out.

Never gonna grow up

I must admit, I love tween/teen movies and books. Everytime I go to Barnes and Noble you will probably find me in the Juvenile Fiction section. Books like A Great and Terrible Beauty, Gossip Girl, Melanie Martin goes to Spain, anything Lois Lowry, and all the classics.

The latest movie that I rented was Aquamarine. I loved it. It made me cry and laugh. Ok, yes it had a stupid joke about a shell phone, but it was still cute. Emma Roberts is going to be effing gorgeous. I wish I was a mermaid, I always have ever since The little Mermaid.

Don't try to tell me you didn't put your legs together and swim like a mermaid/dolphin when you swam, because I still do sometimes.

Superman

I never really watched the Superman movies when i was a kid. Therefore I never understood why people liked Christopher Reeves, I never thought he was attractive. Then when Brad and I first started dating, we watched Superman (to bond through our geekiness). Finally I understood, Christopher Reeves is soooo charismatic. I felt myself wanting to be Lois Lane.

Well I felt that again last week when i saw Superman Returns. When watching the commercials I did not think that Brandon Routh was that attractive, but during the movie I told Brad that I was in love with this Superman and wanted to have his babies.

Dental Troubles

If you are ever at the dentist getting a deep scraping cleansing, which includes shots of Novocain, and you can see in your peripheral vision a reflection of your mouth in the dentist’s goggles, DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY AT IT. It really grossed me out to see my mouth violated like that. Afterwards, I really did not want to eat. My mouth was perfectly clean and anything I did from that point on would just mess it up. Thankfully I am really keeping up with my brushing and flossing. I am probably going to lose my insurance soon and I really want to keep all my teeth for as long as possible.

Short Music Survey

I found this somewhere. If you comment, give your own answers!

1. What is the total amount of music files on your computer?

Only a couple hundred. I have itunes and use it frequently, but after I buy a cd, I usually burn it and then erase it from my computer. Let's just say, I have the SIMS 2 and I want it to run as fast as possible and i don't need my thousands of songs effing that up.

2. What is the last CD you bought?

The Shins - Oh, Inverted World!

3. What was the last song you listened to before reading this message?

The Party Punch - The Jolly Rogers

4. Write down 5 songs you often listen to, or that mean a lot to you.
1. Dead Man's Party - Oingo Boingo
2. Dust in the Wind - Kansas
3. Stranglehold - Ted Nugent
4. I only have eyes for you - The Flamingos (from the best buffy episode)
5. DTW Metronomy Rough Mix - Architecture in Helsinki

Now those are all songs that I could listen to over and over again. The cds I am listening to right now are: Teagan and Sarah - So Jealous, Arcade Fire - Funeral, My Morning Jacket - Z, Something's Gotta Give Soundtrack, William Shatner - Has Been.

Idiot Girl's Guide

If you haven't read a book by Laurie Notaro, I don't think we should be friends. But don't worry, there is time to redeem yourself. Go Here:

http://www.laurienotaro.com/challenge.html

to start finding out just how funny her writing is. Hilarious.

I remember a few years ago when I first read her first book, my friends and I started speaking in this certain voice. It stemmed from a part in the book when she talks about eating troughs of cheesecake while watching the Golden Girls and trying on girdles. Now imagine: loving food, and seeing cheesecake; how would you call to it? Well we started calling to food in a voice that is supposed to sound like a "fat" lady, but sounded more like a man, "Cheesecake!" (said in a low raspy voice). It then stemmed to other foods ("Shrimp Cocktail!"), as well as cute boys (Craig Mueller!"). But imagine it in our manly voice and it is not attractive.

Now when I do it, I realize I don't hang out with those people anymore and my new friends are looking at me strangely.

In the words of Laurie Notaro, rember its not a girdle, it's a body shaper!

Back to school

So I registered for classes yesterday. Yay!

Starting on July 3 I am taking a Summer II class with Brad:
ART100 INTRO TO COMPUTER GRAPHIC ART

Then in August I will be taking:

*CIS105 SURVEY COMPUTER INFO SYSTEMS
*BIO100 BIOLOGY CONCEPTS
ENG101 FIRST-YEAR COMPOSITION
HIS108 UNITED STATES HISTORY 1945-PRESENT

*I will be taking these classes with Brad. I think it will be great, we can help each other with the homework! Hopefully I will be done with my AA by the end of next Spring and then transfer to ASU next fall.

I am excited for all the changes that will happen this fall. This will be the first time I will be in school full time, I will be moving in August to a place with a w/d and a patio(yay!), and since I am going to school full time I am only going to be working part time (double yay!).

I have been with the same company for about 2 1/2 years and had the same schedule (M-F 7-1530) for a year and a half. So going to school during the day and working in the evenings or even the weekends is going to be very weird. I not looking forward to working on the weekends, but I am looking forward to sleeping in (even if it is only until 8).

To Grandmother's House We Go

My mother showed me zillow.com. You can look up your home's value and any home you want. So we looked up houses we have lived in before, like the Shea home in 5th grade on Cathedral Rock Dr. Then we looked up the home on Cholla Canyon which is directly across the street from Esperanza Elementary School (which I was the first graduating class of btw). That house was first owned by my Grandma, and then my Dad after she died. I lived there off and on since I was little. I have some of my best childhood memories in that house and that neighborhood.

So would it be really weird if I wrote a letter to whom ever lives there now and let them know that if the EVER plan on selling the place to contact me. Is that crazy? Would they think I am majorly cuckoo? Do you think I am, internet? Are you judging me already?

My Cubicle

Ok this is pretty silly, but it is my life. It is a parody of You're Beautiful by James Blunt

http://www.morningsidekick.com/visitors/visitors-mp3s/song-cubicle.mp3

My Cubicle

My job is stupid
My day's a bore
Inside this office
From eight 'til four

Well, nothing ever happens
My life is pretty bland
Pretending that I'm working
Pray I don't get canned

My cubicle, My cubicle
It's one of sixty two
It's my small space
In a crowded place
Just a six-by-six board booth
And I hate it, that's the truth

Well, I give a sigh
As the boss walks by
No one ever talks to me
Or looks me in the eye

And I really should work
But instead I just
Sit here and surf the Internet
In

My cubicle, My cubicle
It doesn't have a view
It's my small space
In a crowded place
I sit and sigh there, too
And sometimes I sit here nude

The Break Up

I saw The Break Up last Wednesday, and I liked it. Although my expectations were too high. I couldn't stop thinking about it for hours after I got home. Of course it made me cry, but what movie doesn't.

I think it would have been better with a different girl. I'm sorry to say, I don't really like Jennifer Aniston as an actress much. Next to Joey, she is my least favorite Friend. But everyone else was great, Vince Vaughn, Vincent Dinofrio, Joey Lauren Adams, Jon Favreau, Jason Bateman, and even Peter Billingsley (Ralphie from A Christmas Story).

The movie had a great script which was co-written by Vince Vaughn. It really showed off his acting abilities, not just his comedy. What I thought was ridiculous was the whole premise of the movie. Not that they break up and have to live together, or that she really doesn't want to break up at all, that is believable. But I can't believe that she breaks up with him, is treating him like shit, and dating other guys all so that he will CHANGE. Never going to happen. Try a little effing honesty and a little less nagging.

I always usually agree with the guys in romantic comedies. The girls do nag, they do expect too much. I have learned this in the long run though, don't let someone get away with something that bothers you, because if you don't tell them, they will just keep doing it until you explode with anger. I'm suprised Brad doesn't nag me with all the shit I leave all over the apartment for weeks. Tissues from when I was sick last week? Check. Clothes I wore 5 days ago on the living room floor? Check. He's a keeper.

Eye Boogers

I have had something stuck in my eye since I left the house this morning at 6:45. This is causing major eye blinking and discomfort (oh my, I almost just wrote uncomfort!)

Amber's birthday is next week on 06/06/06. We will be seing the Omen in celebration of her birth!

I think I have decided that I want to be a Librarian. I want to work at either an elementary school library or a public library. I want to get to them while their young and make them love reading as much as I do. I know that to work at a school library though you have to be a certified teacher, so should I get my undergrad degree in elementary education? But then I would be copying Amber, but also, then she could also help me through it.

I hate picking one thing I want to be when I grow up because what if I'm not good at it? What if there is something I have never tried that I would be great at? Here are some things I have been interested in, but have never tried at all:

Tailor (making and changing clothes for people)
Computer Animator (drool about working at Pixar)
Website/Software Designer (drool about working at Google)
Fibers (making textiles)
Librarian
Book Editor
Teacher (alas, I don't really have patience)
Chef (I am ok at cooking, but what if I could be great?)
Writer (but have never written anything for fun except this blog)
Owning my own Thrift Store with Brad (where we also sold things we made)

As you can see, half of these have me working from home, which is my dream.

Birdies

Outside my apartment there are a lot of trees and they are home to a lot of birds. The other day while walking to my car, I came apon a dead baby bird on the sidewalk. It was not like within a broken egg shell but about two inches long and no feathers. I was saddened, but had to move on.

I took two steps and there was another baby bird. A little smaller but exactly the same in every other respect. I looked further, and there was another one and it was even smaller.

I did not see a fallen nest around and I find myself struck by this mystery. I do not know much about baby birds, except for that whole regurgitated food thing, so I keep wondering what happened. Did they try to fly, but were too young. Was there nest broken by some meddling boy, or what?

It reminds me of a story that my friend from high school, Melissa told me(who I can't find on myspace, damn her!). I'm not sure if I remember it correctly, but it is about her when she was younger and saw a little bird on the sidewalk and ended up accidentaly stepping on it. That would have seriously scarred me if I had stepped on one of those plump little bodies.

The Age of Missing Information

This is from Slate magazine. It scares the crap out of me.

http://www.slate.com/Default.aspx?id=2114963&

Good Times, Great Memories

In Colorado there is a chain of fast food stores called Good Times. That is a great names on so many levels, but I kept calling it Good Burger. Now, I was a very big fan of All That. I like Amanda Bynes, and I remember Kel's character of the French Guy in the Bathtub. I am very happy he is on SNL, but I have to say, I have never seen Good Burger. Is it good? Any comments, should I rush it to the top of my queue?

Posessed by Harry Potter

I stayed up way to late (2 am) re-reading the 5th Harry Potter book. I then had a dream about it where I was the one having visions of what Voldemort was doing. I woke myself up though when I threw up in my mouth a little and woke up choking and unable to breath for a few seconds. It felt like when you get the wind knocked out of you and it is almost like you forgot how to breath. I had to drink a whole glass of water to get the burning in my throat to stop.
I hate having a dream about the Harry Potter world, because it just makes me more depressed that I cannot live in their world and be a witch. Oh, to be Ginny Weasley!

Silent All These Years

There are certain songs that remind me of my parents. With my dad is it pretty much all oldies with an emphasis on Elvis. With my Mom it is Bonnie Raitt, Amy Grant, Shawn Mullins, and in particular Little Earthquakes by Tori Amos.

Any time I hear that CD, I vividly remember the time when she lived in these very ghetto apartments on Cambell and 8th Ave. in Phoenix. I was in 7th grade and out of school for the summer. The apartment pool was filled in with dirt and we were pretty much the only white family there. I would get a Payaso (the best popsicles ever) from the guy with his cart, listen to her Tori Amos tape and read Foxfire by Joyce Carol Oates.

Now here is an example of my seriously fast though process:

I was driving to my Mom's house yesterday and I heard a song from Little Earthquakes on the radio. I thought about another thing I learned that summer, that my grandfather had repeatedly physically abused my mom when she was a kid.

Then I thought about his funeral and if she had ever forgiven him.

Then I thought about how both my Mom's parents were dead.

Then I started crying because I don't want my parents to die.

This was all withing the first thirty seconds of the song. So I was driving down Camelback singing along to the song and crying because my parents are going to die. I think that is one reason I can be very happy and yet have no idea where I will be in a year. I still do not know where my life is going but I am very lucky and have a tremendous amount of support from my family. Although I am making it on my own, I know that if I were to not have a job or a place to live, I would have somewhere to go. And that must be the scariest thing in the world, having nowhere to go and no one who loves you unconditionally.

Mile High

If I hear that phrase again, I might puke. In Denver it has been attached to everything, from radio stations to tattoo shops.

first, before I forget: If you like baby stuff (Amber), go here now http://www.mahardrygoods.com/index.php If you don't know yet, if I ever have a little boy, I plan on decorating his room with vintage robot/ sci-fi stuff, and there is the coolest robot blanket on there. There is also a blanket with gnomes, that is very cute. It makes my ovaries quiver with excitement.

Ok, back to Denver. It was pretty fun. Other than the weather (mid 70's), it was not much different that Phoenix, same urban sprawl, but with differenent cookie cutter houses. Instead of stucco, they all had basements and blue or beige siding. We drove for less than an hour and were in the Rockies. The temp was only about 50 but there was still snow on the ground. I will get my pics in flikr tonight.

The coolest thing was that we went to see Body Worlds II http://www.bodyworlds.com/en/pages/koerperspende.asp at the Denver Science Museum. I had never heard of it, but it is an exhibit with actual human bodies that have been plastified. It was really interesting and kinda creepy. I know this is really juvenile but the thing I couldn't stop staring at were the balls and penii (or penises, whichever you prefer) on all the bodies. Thankfully I held in the giggling, but there was a lot of staring.

Also we ate at the Hard Rock Cafe and did some shopping. Why is it when we visit another city, we do things we could do in our own city. I almost went shopping at Old Navy, but I held myself back.

I found a new drink while in Denver: Coca Cola Blak. It is coffee mixed with coke, and yes it is good. Before I left I had never seen or heard of it, but now that I am back people are telling me they have seen it. This also happened to me when I was 18 and went to Minnesota. I thought I would be the first person in Arizona to ever drink Pepsi with Lemon. But by the time I got back, it was everywhere. It's weird.

Rocky Mountain High

I am leaving tonight for Colorado for five days. Brad and I are going to visit and stay with his Mom and Step-dad. Everyone asks me, "Oh, is this the first time you are going to meet her?" Thankfully no, it is not. That would make me very anxious. But I have met his mom many times when she comes down here to visit.

I still do feel weird about sleeping in the same room as Brad around his parents, because I know my Dad would be weird about it. Brad's mom is definitely cool with it though.

Story Time

Brad and I are readers. We get excited talking about the office/library we will one day have. There are many books that I want Brad to read and vice versa. He has caved in and read the The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, but has yet to complete the series. I had yet to read Catch 22.

But what Brad hasn't (won't) read is Harry Potter. I know, gah.

I have now found a way around it, I am reading them to him. I'm only like one chapter into the first book, but it's going good.

At bed time I just keep reading until he drifts off to sleep, then I tuck him in and warn him about bed bugs. They bite you know!

Lists

I like lists. But that may have developed out of my hate for transition sentences.

A few things:

Does anyone else take their fruit snacks and line them up in the color they are going to eat them? I always save the red for last.

My work finally went and made Myspace FORBIDDEN, so now I am going through withdrawls.

Almost everynight I think, "what would I do if someone broke in? Where is the cell phone?" Then I tell myself to remind myself that tomorrow night, I will bring the phone in the room, just in case. But I never do.

I really, really like it when my Sims Woo Hoo.

I definitely got una buena nota on my examen final en Espanol (an A). I am very good at studying for 30 minutes before an exam and remembering it for just enough time to spit it back out on paper. Some of it sticks, but not much. I will never forget the verb for vacuuming: pasar la aspiradora, because I think, pass the sucker.

So hilarious

Superdickery is awesome, it shows actual covers from past comics and how much of a dick Superman is.

This blog is where I got the link.

Mama

I just realized that I am the age that my mother was when she first got pregnant with me.

Yeah. But she was a college grad and married.

I am neither of those things......yet


p.s. I am still paranoid about talking about marriage or babies in front of Brad. Even though he contributes to the conversation, and swears it doesn't scare him. I am still partly brainwashed that talking about marriage is BAD!!!!

Finals

My apartment is directly across the street from a neighborhood bar. Last night we could hear cheers until 11 at night. I could only guess that there was a sporting event on. Then I get to work this morning and people are talking about the Suns vs. Lakers game. So I guess that was what kept me up. I really couldn't care less about sports. I think if high schools had to choose between theater/art program and sports, it should be no question. What school, who are supposed to be educating children, would choose sports? A plenty, that's who. It really disgusts me.

I have finals next week, so after that I will be posting more. Sorry!

Death by Dr. Pepper

This is a fun link

Death by Caffeine Enter your weight and it will tell you how much of a certain kind of soda you would have to drink for it to kill you

link via Mrs. Kennedy

Dreams

I have a wisp of a memory of my dream last night, but I can't grasp onto it. I won't remember it until when I lay down again tonight. It always works that way for me.

I love my dreams, they are usually very coherant and colorful. I always wonder after waking up from a sex dream, did my body just make me have an orgasm, or was I sleep masturbating? Because that would be embarrasing at a sleep over.

Barnes & Noble

I have always wanted to work at Barnes & Noble. When I was in high school, my mother had a part time job there and she said during the interview process they ask you for your ten favorite authors or ten you would like to have dinner with or whatever. Here is my list. I have decided to write it out and carry it with me at all times, just in case they see me browsing and I get an impromptu interview, because they know I would be the best addition.

EDIT:
Jeffrey Brown
Jodi Piccoult
Al Franken
Charles Bukowski
David Sedaris
J.K. Rowling
Francesca Lia Block
Audrey Niffenegger
Laurie Notaro
Shel Silverstein

Alternates: Noam Chomsky, Christopher Pike, Ann M. Martin, V.C. Andrews.

Havalinas

On the drive home from San Francisco a few weeks ago, I found a cool new station on my sirius radio. It is old time radio shows. Brad and I totally lucked out that when we tuned in we got to hear an episode of The Twilight Zone! It was the "The Obsolete Man", which is a great one.

Then we heard a show starring Douglas Fairbanks where he had just gotten out of prison but then saw the man who he had been convicted of killing. Much hijinks ensued. That was pretty good too.What they were great at though, was keeping me awake.

p.s. I am going to Sedona for the night. Brad's Mom is up there and we get to stay in one of the rooms of her two room suite. I hope to have much fun. I think on the drive up, I will make Brad play The Pixies, Havalinas just so I can sing: old Sedona.....A-reee-zooonaa!

p.p.s. Isn't the weather just great today (and yesterday)?

Dear Oprah

Now that I have dvr, I have been watching Oprah every day. I realize that all she does is make me cry. Every. Episode.

Yesterday was pretty bad (I think it was Wednesday's ep.). She talked about Africa and all the genocide going on in Sudan, in the Democratic Republic of the Congo and in Uganda. There were pictures of dead people and the talks of rape and cooking people alive and feeding them to other people.

In Uganda the children must walk like 5 miles every night to be locked in overnight or else they could be kidnapped by the Rebels and forced to kill people and be raped. Then they walk home 5 miles every morning. They do this every day. They are called the Night Walkers.

Tear :*(
It made me so depressed because all I knew nothing about this stuff and there is not much I can do except give money. And it makes me angry because our media is for SHIT!

Baby Names

Let me precede this by stating, I am not pregnant. But I have been searching for good baby names since early high school. I was looking at a popular baby name site and i am dissapointed that some names I like are on the Top 100 for 2005. I want my baby to have an underused name. I hated being Shannon B. because there were other Shannon's in my classes. Here are some names that I like, but will probably not use.

Girls:
Sophie
Olivia
Sydney
Lily (sorry Amber, it's # 26 on the most popular list)
Reagan
Kennedy
Lucy

Boys:
Noah
Robert
Patrick

I seriously will probably use Robert sometime, because that is my dad's, grandpa's and great-grandpa's first name. I also like Dean, but only as a middle name, it was my maternal grandpa's middle name.
I'm glad Claire or Wendy was not on that list, because I love those names. I'm sure this will all change more in the next couple years before I plan to have a baby.

That one candy with the sweetness?

The other day, I could not remember the name of a certain childhood candy. I kept giving Brad memory cues, but he was no help.
Me: It came in a tube of clear cellophane.

Brad: I don't know

Me: They were all different flavors and pastel colors.

Brad: I don't know

Me: They are like hardened pixie stixs.

Brad: Silence

Me: Nevermind.

Well I still didn't remember until I read it right now on someone else's blog: Smarties. Duh.

p.s. In 6th grade on the bus, my friend and I crushed them up and snorted them. There was no high, but much sneezing. That relates to the time my sister and I rolled up grass that we tore out of the yard in notebook paper and tried to smoke it. What? That's what "grass" means, doesn't it? No?

Adulthood

I made one of my first major purchases as an adult last night...... a vacuum. Not just like the other vacuums I've had, which all cost under $50, this baby cost $200. It is amazing. I vacuumed last night and it has this light that turns from Red (dirty) to Green (clean) to tell you when you can stop vacuuming that spot. Lets just say that i did so much vacuuming on my little patch of apartment carpet that I am actually sore today. But that could just be because I am out of shape.

Maybe this will help with the weird smell that seems to be in my apartment no matter how much I clean, it was probably due to the ancient crumbs that set up camp in the depths of my carpet.

p.s. Brad's mom is in town and he hung out with her last night. I know this will sound lazy and spoiled (i am) but doing things by yourself is hard. I bought the vacuum and went grocery shopping and then had to carry everything up the stairs. Yet another reason for my soreness.

Exposed

I have exposed myself on my myspace page. I put a link to this blog so now my friends know about it. Which is good. Now maybe I will have hits other than just me looking at it. And comments other than just spam.

Behind the times

So about three weeks ago I got a few cds for our trip to San Francisco:

Neko Case- Fox Confessor Brings the Flood.

Patty Griffin - Flaming Red.

Interpol- Turn on the Bright Lights

Now I think I am behind the times when it comes to Interpol because this is the first cd of theirs I have bought, but it has become one of my all time favorite cds and I can't wait to get more.

Other cds I have bought on Itunes lately:

William Shatner- Has Been. This is a great cd, produced by Ben Folds.

The Magnetic Fields- The Wayward Bus/Distant Plastic Trees. All the songs are sung by a girl which is different and good

Arcade Fire- Funeral. Also something I am behind in. I heart this cd.

James-Laid. I haven't listened to it all the way through yet, but I love the song Laid.

Lemon Jelly- Lost Horizons. Cool Cd with a lot of voice overs

I really like my Sirius Radio. Not listening to my local station play Radiohead - Creep, Greenday - Blvd of Broken Dreams, and FallOutBoy - Sugar we're goin down on a loop, is very nice. Also no commercials.
Also, I am trying to learn a little bit of html. Yes I made all of the above links myself.

Silent Hill

I have decided that I will never see another movie that is made from a video game ever again. This movie, although yes I did jump once or twice, was not good. You did not know the plot until the last half hour and even then it was told through flashback and voice over. There was like an alternate dimension inside of an alternate dimension. But yes, it was gross when that random demon guy pulled that random character's skin off.

Flikr

I added a flikr link to the right side of this page. I don't really have many pics on there yet, oh but I will.

I know when I read people's blogs I imagine them a certain way and then I see a pic and they look pretty different than what I expected.

David Sedaris

I am reading Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris and it is hands down, the funniest book I have ever read.
Pure Awesomeness.
But don't read it if you are anti-gay or anti-France. And if you are, please get over yourself

I can't wait to read his other stuff.

Tom and Katie

Well, Tom and Katie finally had their baby. It is a girl which they name, Suri. I really thought it would be a boy because I was sure that Tom just had his clone implanted into her womb.

I have been researching Scientology. No matter what it is about or if it helps people, the creator was a lying nut. I suggest reading this: L. Ron Hubbard article at wikipedia.
That's why I could never be Mormon either (not counting the whole polygamy thing). Both religions were created by con men who just wanted money, therefore the religion is just based on lies.

P.S. L. Ron Hubbard also wrote Battlefield Earth. Enough. Said.

Thoughts

There is a little gnat thing that I see almost everyday in my cubicle at work. I hope it is always the same one, or else there is a colony of littly bugs. Although I think I remember killing it once.

I woke up this morning a half an hour before my alarm with the overwhelming need to pee. I then remembered my dream of peeing on a broken toilet and getting splashed by my pee water and am thankful that I didn't pee in my bed.

I haven't written in a few days because I am really busy reading other people's blogs. Right now it is http://www.queserasera.org/. I find myself always wondering, how do these people get so much done. After work and school, all I do is watch tv. Some people find the time to raise children, have a successful blog, make crafty stuff, walk their dogs, read blogs, and watch TV.

I got COX DVR, otherwise known as Tivo for the lower middle class. It is nice being able to actually watch The Daily Show, Conan, Oprah (which I cry at every time), and every Design on a Dime and Devine Design.

Bowling

So Brad is always turning down the suggestion to go bowling whenever it is brought up.

Some one "Lets go bowling!"
Brad "NO! I hate bowling. It is not fun."

So I assumed he had some traumatic bowling experience that he didn't want to talk about. Then one day a few weeks ago:

Brad "I want to go bowling sometime with just you."
Me "Why? I thought you hated it?"
B "Actually I have never bowled in my life. I just didn't want to go bowling and then really suck at it."

I felt so bad that he had missed out on bowling. Also now everytime he says he doesn't like doing something, I assume he has just never done it. See: Playing board games.

Forgiveness

I have been reading my old diaries from junior high and high school. I am so different then I used to be (thankfully), but it made me so sad to see how I acted and was treated.

I really was such a flirt and a make out slut. This was in the summer of 1999 between my sophomore and junior year of high school. I worked at a movie theater (yes I am a movie nerd) and every few nights I would be making out with a different guy. But then I would complain about how my guy friends didn't respect me and everyone talked behind my back. It's no wonder.

I'm not saying what they did was right but I wish I would have stuck up for myself more and not put up with their shit. Or maybe not made out with so many guys.

But I don't regret it because I am happy to have gotten it out of my system then instead of now in my early twenties. I have an acquaintance that was in a relationship all through out high school and college and now that she is free, she is going wild. I think there is a lot more at stake in our twenties than then in our teens.

Now I am in a long term relationship that I can see lasting forever. I have already seen what's out there and I know that Brad is all the love I could ask for.

APE Part II

I think I had the closest thing to a panic attack that I have ever had on Friday night in San Francisco.
We got to the city at around 8:30 and had to park in a garage like three blocks from our "hotel". The guy waiting to be helped behind me didn't put on his brake and his car rolled into mine, which then ran over my toes! Thankfully it didn't hurt bad and it was fine by morning.

Then we walked to the "hotel" through a bad neighborhood. So I started crying, but I think it was just the scariness of being run over finally hitting me. I was scared that my car was going to get stolen, that we were going to get attacked, stuff that probabaly wouldn't happen. I though Brad was mad at me for overreacting, but the next day he told me he went to bed quietly crying because he couldn't fix it and make me feel better.

You might be wondering why I keep writing "hotel", well because we stayed in a hostel. We had a private room with a bathroom, but no TV or anything else. Which wouldn't be that bad, except because I was scared of driving around the city at night, or rather parking late at night, we didn't go out on Saturday night. It was so boring we went to bed at like 9:30.

APE was cool, but it was mostly like going to a comic shop with a lot of different choices. I saw Jeffrey Brown which was cool and got to meet the guys from Modest Proposal. There is only so long (three hours) that you can walk around there though.

So Brad was upset because we wasted all this money and he thought the trip was a total bust. Thankfully Sunday was pretty fun. We went down to Pier 39. We were going to go on the Alcatrez Tour but it was sold out. So we went to the Aquarium and then drove over the Golden Gate Bridge. Then on impulse I was going to drive part of the way home on Highway 1, which follows the coastline. We only got about 10 miles, the the road became closed, so we had to turn around and take the original way home. Oh well!

If I go to San Francisco again, I will stay in a better hotel and fly there.

Funny

This is from The New Yorker:

http://www.newyorker.com/printables/shouts/050926sh_shouts

APE

Brad and I are leaving for a weekend in San Francisco tomorrow morning. I am beginning to feel stressed about it because I haven't made a list of what I need to buy at Target tonight, or what I need to pack. I can be OCD that way. But I did print Google Maps of how to get to the hotel; how to get from the hotel to APE; how to get from the hotel to Chinatown; and how to get from the hotel to Haight and Ashbury. Yes I am a tourist, as anyone will be able to tell from the camera that will be attached to my hand

The weather is going to be cold, well at least by my Arizonian standards. It rarely gets to be 50° except in the two month long winter. And then only with 10% humidity. In San Fran it is going to be 75% humidity. I may have to buy an actual coat at Target tonight!

I will update with pics when we get back!

LOST

John Locke makes me so, so sad.
I hadn't seen much of the first season, but I have watched all of the second season. I have always thought of John as a very strong, intelligent man. But now I am watching the 1st season thanks to Netflix. The episode where John is talked down to by his boss, where you find out he is in love with a phone sex girl and that sad, sad part where the Aussie wouldn't let him go on the walkabout.
I cried very hard in that episode. It was like finding out your parents make mistakes. There is not much sadder then finding out a strong man is actually weak.

Dooced

I am in love with Heather Armstrong. I just found her Blog at www.dooced.com and have decided to read her and her husband's blogs from the beginning. So they started in 2001 and now I am up to 2003 when they were pregnant!

Her blog has encouraged me to write more on mine. Because then when I get a career, married, and then pregnant I will have a written record that anyone can follow along with.

NonSense

So I added Adsense on here, but I'm not quite sure how it works? We shall see. I usually hate advertising but I love Google and I like how their advertising on Blogs have to do with what is being talked about on the page.

Verbal Throw Up

Ok, so I don't think I have started losing weight yet. But hey, I haven't gained.

I am trying to get my apartment cleaned and organized. It is a mess. My bathroom is as bad as a college boy's (not to mention that I live with one). Brad (my live-in boyfriend) was supposed to clean it this weekend. But for that matter, I was supposed to clean the living room and kitchen.

I made a great list of how and in what order I was going to clean my house this weekend, which included cleaning the base boards, the windows, and renting a carpet cleaner. Well none of that happened. What we did get done was cleaning the mass of clean and dirty clothes that were all over our bedroom floor, one load of laundry, putting our bed back on it's frame, putting clean sheets on it, starting to organize the mass of random craft supplies I have, and setting up the new bookshelf we got at target.

I have like 50 men's ties that I do not know what I will do with. I made a purse with one which was cool. I will not make a tie skirt, I don't like it. I can't do anything constructive until I have a clean and organized space to do it. We are in the process of getting rid of one of our couches and the twin bed in the extra room. I just want to give it away to our friends, but my mom bought it for me like 4 years ago, so she has the final word.

I want to lose weight

right now I am looking for blogs about losing weight. I want to read people's thoughts about doing it. I am bigger than I ever have been. It is amazing that in High School (5 years ago) I thought was so fat, but I would give anything to weigh that little again. Now I weigh 50 lbs more! If I actually do start losing weight I will post a before picture and then subsequent better pictures. Wish me luck!